Apocalypso NOW! SoCal Noder Gathering XP 2002 Professional Edition
Perhaps you've read my awesome node about the noder gathering?
Node Elves in Attendance
- Fuzzy and blue
- Conformyou didn't sign the rollsheet, motherfucker
We can all thank my indispensable majordomo, Akasha for both this and the name tags. Since I've removed the fiber and fluid evidence, and carefully scrubbed the gunshot residue from my hands, there would otherwise be no evidence that the gathering had ever occurred. It was all a dream. A wonderful wonderful dream. Other than the vomit.
So here's the deal - when people from the internet suddenly materialize in your living room IT IS A FUCKED UP DISPLACEMENT IN WHICH WORLDS COLLIDE. This is only half a joke. The superimposition of one world, mostly textual in its instantiation, over my very three-dee everyday living space created a kind of reality shear that took me a couple of hours to get over. It's one thing to get on a train and go to San Diego and meet the people there. Then San Diego becomes Internetland, which is like the commercial version of Everything, KS. But to kind of see the those spheres overlap, even if only for a while... it's something.It was like the thing with the children's book where the animals in the book come to life and dance around your room. Except that these animals brought me food.
I mean, honestly, have you thought about this? People were climbing on planes and showing up in my living room. People were getting in cars from other cities and driving towards my crazy house in scenic Echo Park. I'm still trying to formulate what this means. It's kind of like meeting your pen-pal, kind of like having a library of books that you can converse with. Suddenly, it's like the ultimate bandwidth party. No typing! No wacking the return key! You can see, hear, feel, and EVEN SMELL noders in real time. It there's one thing I hate, it's downloading smells because my nose-x only has serial i/o and it's write speed sucks.
Yr a generous bunch of people. You brought food, slipped me green (of various sorts), bought booze, and basically did the cooking. You cleaned up after yourselves. I came down into the downstairs the next morning and the place was basically clean. Which is more than I can say for my asshole LA real-life friends. Hollywood motherfuckers.
So in my node, if you've read it, what I tried to do was capture like, the essence of these worlds coming together. See I was going to major in physics, where I was going to do some awesomely groundbreaking work in parallel universes and about how these different worlds all exist within a bulk bag of cornflakes? But I was so advanced that the other kids were a drag and they asked me the leave, so what I did was take me notes and stuff and I turned them into this novel which is the first novel written in black and white. Now what I mean by that is not only is the actual text in black and the paper in white, which isn't all that unusual, but where I actually use eight-bit color tags around the prose the describe the various greyscale shades of stuff in the story, like the exact shade of clove cigarette smoke. The novel, which I haven't totally finished, is about these atheists from a computer dimension that try and convince people to turn away from God by giving you these BLANK BOOKS that have small writing to confuse you and by baking pumpkin bread, and the trick is that the bread seems like cake, but is actually bread, and they try and get you to eat that instead of the Eucharist. One of the pieces of bread has a plastic baby jesus in it that has a monomolecular knife for a hand, and you can use it to open a gateway that will suck up the computer atheists. But the deadly radiation from the gateway and the caffeine syrup and marzipan that you had to consume to make the knife work makes you puke, over and over and over, and you die, but it's really just crossing over into the Savior's loving arms because you saved Southern California from the Computer Atheists. NOBODY in my class got it, especially the 8-bit color code, but not everyone is as advanced as I am.