Said of a woman who requires an inordinate amount of attention.


A high maintenance woman is a drama queen. Something or someone is always ruffling her feathers. Her emotions never seem to be centered. A low maintenance woman is the center of calm in any storm.

At a restaurant, a high maintenance woman complains about her food and sends back meals. A low maintenance woman will make a note never to come back to the restaurant again, but will continue to eat and make conversation as if nothing had happened.

If you're in bed, and she says, "Don't touch the hair," she's high maintenance.

If she doesn't want to kiss you because it might smudge her lipstick, she's high maintenance.

A low maintenance woman will walk over cobblestone streets in her high heels with the breathtaking surety of Swiss mountain goats. A high maintenance woman will hail a taxi to avoid them.

It is not true that women who spend a lot of time on makeup, hair care, nails, and dress are high maintenance. They only move into the high maintenance category if you pick them up at the agreed upon time and it still takes them an hour to get ready. When your schedule changes because of her eyeliner, she's high maintenance.

A high maintenance woman will call you just to complain about something. A low maintenance woman will call and ask how your day is going. A high maintenance woman will begin bellyaching the minute you set foot in the door. A low maintenance woman will pour you a glass of wine first.

A low maintenance woman can pack for a trip in an hour, no matter how long the trip. She will not need to buy anything. If you have X hours before you simply must leave for the airport, a high maintenance woman will take X + 1 hours to pack and will require a significant wardrobe budget.

The bedroom of a low maintenance woman will look immaculate when you leave. The bedroom of a high maintenance woman will look like a neutron bomb went off.

A high maintenance woman can never find what she's looking for in her purse. A low maintenance woman does not need a purse. She has you, silly. What more does she need? (This is the woman you should marry.)

A low maintenance woman is fundamentally happy with life. She doesn't need you. If you're there, that's nice, but if you're not, no biggie, she has plenty of girlfriends to hang out with.

A high maintenance woman needs you 24-7. Why aren't you there? Why aren't you picking up the phone? Why don't you answer?

A high maintenance woman is one who will not sit in a dirty Ford F-150 truck on her way to a date. A low maintenance woman is one who'd sit shotgun in the back. (An ultra low maintenance one would be willing to sit outside on the bed with your hound dawg. This is the woman you should marry.)


Most men love low maintenance women. Low maintenance women are like Honda Accords, always reliable, always on time. They may not be sexy (although many times they are), but they are dependable and steady and you never ever have to worry about them.

Some men love high maintenance women. High maintenance women are like Ferraris: thrilling when they work, but they need a lot of garage time.

icicle believes this term first came into common usage after the 1989 movie, When Harry Met Sally, starring Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan. She has also gone on record as denying that she herself is high maintenance.