Dad: I hope you don't think you're going out wearing that. Kimmi: Dad, all the kids are wearing it! Dad: I don't care, I will not have my daughter out in public looking like a cheap whore. Kimmi: I am NOT a cheap whore. I hate when you call me that. Kimmi: This cost me 37 dollars at Victor... I mean, The Gap. Kimmi: Plus, you should see what Candi's wearing. I look like a fricking nun compared to her. Dad: Hmm... that's a good idea. Maybe we should send you to a convent. Kimmi: MOoooOM! Dad's at it again! Kimmi: Listen, I'd love to chat about my parents' sexual inadequacies, but I've got to run. I need your car keys and $40 Kimmi: Be home by midnite, I promise. Dad: Car's in the shop. Kimmi: SHIT DAD YOU ARE WORTHLESS Kimmi: Mom..... can I borrow the *sigh* van? Mom: (offstage) Ask your father, dear. Kimmi: I'm running away and living with Katie! Kimmi: storms out of the house Dad: Katie... Katie... Didn't I see her at the strip club? Dad: Leggy blonde, nice rack? Kimmi: GRRRR! Kimmi: flips open cell phone Kimmi: Katie? Yeah, they're being stupid again. I hate my life. Can you pick me up? Dad: calling out the door If you get pregnant, don't bother coming home! Your mother will kill you! Kimmi: I don't care -- You always liked Barbie best. Dad: Sheesh... kids these days. Can't even take a joke. Kimmi: I'm getting this all down in my diary. You'll pay. Dad: (yelling over TV) since when were you allergic to dairy? Kimmi: (into the cell phone) Katie, get here quick. I'm losing it. Dad: Don't forget your tampons! Oh, and your acne cream! It's that time of month again, isn't it? Mom: (offstage) You two! Kimmi: God. I hate you. Kimmi: I so want to die right now. Dad: Love you too, dear! Have a nice time! Kimmi: (sotto voce) Mom, can you hear me? Dad's screwing the au pair!