I don't do daylogs under my 'real' name, and some of this stuff is a little personal, so I'm keeping it non-specific. I'm just hoping that writing this will help me sort all this shit out in my own head
I've been involved with a girl for about 4 years now, We're an odd couple, but we get along really really well, despite our differences. She's a natural worrier, whereas I'm fairly free and easy, I'm a night owl, she's up and the crack of dawn and thinks that staying up til midnight is late, but that used to seem like one of the strengths of the relationship, she's always been a really calming influence on my personality, and seems to be the women that all my University friends insisted I needed to 'sort me out'.
She does a very stressful
law degree, and over time she's become more and more focused on it, and less inclined to cut loose and have fun, all of which culminated in the physical side of the relationship has going to pot. I still want to, she doesn't, in fact sometimes she behaves like she doesn't want me in a 10 foot radius of her.
I went to see her and her folks for a week a while back, all was fine and dandy, bar the lack of sex, or anything approaching it. It was understandable for the first part of the week, time of the month and all, but afterwards she claimed she wasn't in the mood, which, in its way, is fine, but puts a bit of a downer on a bloke, and you start the wondering....
Is there anyone else ...
Have I upset her in anyway ...
Is it me, have I become insenstive/unattractive to her...
And so on and so forth
This all finished off with a drunken discussion/argument on the topic which ended up with both of us in tears, sparked by the usual 'Is it all worth it anymore' routine on her part. I'm petrified of the thought of breaking up with her, especially as she helped me out when my parents split, and is about the only semblence of a social life that I have, due hating my job and the city I'm in coupled with me being shit at keeping in contact with old friends. She claims she still loves me, but has started to think of me more as her best friend than anything else.
Just to cap it off I got flashed by a speed camera on my way home from hers, whilst doing 35 in a 30 zone - 14 days of waiting to see if I get a fine, points on my license and a fucking huge hike in my insurance bill. Just what I needed.
Any suggestions on how I can improve my life?