I've been keeping a journal in my college prep english course. Of course, this journal mostly ended up turning into a lot of random thoughts that I've had in the course of the previous evening. However, E2 has counselled me to Node Your Homework, and that is what I shall do.
Without further ado, or doo doo, here's todays entry:
Women and the English language are a deadly combination. Women have learned that many words in the English language come complete with multiple meanings, which can be further twisted into other, more sinister woman-only meanings, all for the purpose of confusing men, and causing them mental harm. What women need to learn is that men are really easily confused, and that all this effort is unnecessary. In fact, often, women try so hard in their efforts to confuse a man, that the moment simply blows right past the man and he doesn’t realize something important has happened, thereby forcing the woman to use the “You-should-know-what’s-wrong” ploy, as deadly a weapon as any they carry. I entreat women everywhere to be nice to us guys. We’re obviously the mental underlings here. Pretty much everything we say can either be taken at face value, or as a very shallow and uncomplicated lie. Don’t try so hard. We’re already lost.
Warning: This is a segway. (I know that's spelled wrong - this was done intentionally to make the following pun work:) And not the little scooter thing.
My little sister who was, at the time, in 3rd grade already had a crush on a boy. This wasn’t grossly surprising. What was surprising was when I learned that there were 3rd grade boys who like 3rd grade girls. This is completely unnatural. Any 3rd grade boy should be completely certain that girls are completely infested with cooties – dirty nasty things. I know I was. In third grade I had no desire to even touch or be touched by a girl, and would go so far as to pass cooties to my friends whenever one brushed by me, or something, simply to avoid the terrible contamination of cooties. This is perhaps why I am single to this day, though a lot of my friend’s did the same thing, and one kid I went to 3rd grade with is getting married in a year. I don’t know if I ever want to get married.... that’s a lot of cooties.