Yesterday | Tomorrow
Everything is a Community
Here is my life, in no particular order:
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
If i missed you, it is because I can't think anymore.
I hate you
Today:
Adam, do NOT scare me like that again, you hear me?
Love,
Laura
The above editor's note is in reference to the following:
Earlier, this write up was a suicide note. I was going to kill myself.
In the middle of my farewells, someone
AIMd me, completely ignorant of what I was planning. I was totally interrupted.
One thing lead to another, and it came out: I was about to kill myself. That didn't go over very well at all. There was crying, and general bad feelings all around. We said goodbye to each other, finally, and I went about my plans.
I have a shotgun. A 12 gauge, semi-automatic shotgun. I also have a box of heavy dove shot. I went to my basement, loaded a shell, sat down and put the barrel in my mouth.
I pulled the trigger.
Being the type of guy I am, I then released the safety.
And I began to think of a woman that cared about me, crying, far, far away.
I thought of all of you that make me smile, and laugh. Some of you make me want to cry, because your words are so beautiful, and I love you for it. I thought of the people that wouldn't understand. I thought of the people that would blame themselves.
I put the gun back in my mouth, and put my finger on the trigger. I sat there, crying, for five minutes.
Waiting. Waiting for a reason, any reason, to do anything at all.
Nothing happened.
I put the gun down. Maybe I should have thumbed the saftey and removed the shell, but I'll do that later.
Please don't treat me differently, if you see me in the street. Or whatever.
Please don't try to help me. I know what is wrong with me, and you can't help. Thanks, though. It really means a lot that you care.
Please don't tell me not to do it. I know it is wrong, immoral, and all that stuff.
Thank you all so much for caring about me. I am sorry that my pain mattered more to me than your feelings.
Adam.