Fourteen hours after initiating the raid on Old Iraq, the Empire had spent $80,000,000,003.02. As an early evaluation of the strike results, it has been obtained one dead (civilian), 14 injured (civilians), 2 huts (made with parainfluenza viruses-contaminated mud) demolished, one coalition helicopter broken down (out of petrol), and 2 sand snakes (protected species) seriously hurt. About sixteen hours after the crusade started, more than 3,700 no mass destruction-bombs and 1,450 DU missiles fell on Baghdad, then the Hell came to visit the city, and countless casualties ensued.
On the basis of the above stocktaking, it can be advanced that the long lasting planned (12 years) war strategy constitutes more than a palatable success which heralds a very short battle on the skinny Mesopotamia ground.
Once the tyrant gives up, a political change would take place. It is strongly suspected, however, that Mesopotamia survivors (who -by the way- are expected to be the less awfully ugly and monkey-shaped among the elements belonging to the Axis of Evil concept) are not capable of choosing by their own neither the proper person nor representative institutions. Thus, the Empire will stay in that country in order to designate and support the most convenient staff. Even more, this is not the only sacrifice the Emperor is willing to do. Several plans have been carefully conceived by Him to repair, after this surgical war, the unavoidable damage caused by lead and fire in Old Iraq.
Moreover few secrets can be kept apart from the obstinacy of some infamous agents. In fact, the draft of the best recovery plan for New Iraq has just been stolen by the sadly astute Chinese spy Yel-low Thi-ef (who can be reached if you proceed quickely at http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.whitehouse.org%2Fnews%2F2003%2F031303.asp).
The content of this plan has been revealed and literally consists of the following relevant topics:
1. Non-Greed-or-Vendetta-Inspired Regime Change through Superior Defense Technologies.
2. Purely Humanitarian Reconstruction of Bombed-Out Buildings & Facilities.
3. An Utterly Charitable Clean Water Initiative.
4. Completely Altruistic, Famine-Averting Agricultural Programs.
5. Non-Greed-Inspired Road & Highway Rehabilitation.
6. Exclusively Kindhearted Enhancements of Railroads, Airports, and Ports & Harbors.
7. Wholly Compassionate Oil Plant Revamps.
8. Entirely Benevolent Assembly of Dams & Desert Hydropower Facilities.
9. Fully Non-Avaricious New Oil Well Drilling and Oil Well Completion.
10. Profoundly Selfless Delivery of Oil Refining and Pipeline Services.
11. Mercilessly Crush the False Religion of Islam.
12. Install Florida-Style Democracy.
In spite of the shame the violation of this allegedly well hidden state secret implies, a CIA spokesman has pointed out that a widespread broadcasting of such a plan could result in the hurried capitulation of the Enemy and -above all- the Basra surrender. Time will (shortly) tell.