Enid Blyton's works also contain vast amounts of massive innuendo which I am absolutely convinced were deliberate. Forget the existence of characters named Fanny and Dick and how George from the Famous Five was full of spunk. Here's some actual Enid Blyton tales synopsised by me to exhibit this.

Mr Chunky's Chopper. This was written in around 1959 or so, it appears, and involves Mr Chunky, the protagonist, finding a magic chopper. Thinking how great it would be to have such an impressive tool, he proceeds to get his hands on it and discovers that to activate it, one has to use the command word. He does so, and lo and behold, his chopper arises into the air and proceeds to do its thing. Unfortunately once he's got his chopper going, he can't make it stop until the chopper's rightful owner tells him how to put it down again. But by then it's too late, his chopper's made a mess all over the house. The moral of the story is that you shouldn't interfere with other peoples' equipment.

The Chocolate Cock. The opening line is, "Once there was a piece of chocolate shaped like a cock" and it just goes downhill from there. He stands proud in the sweet shop window and runs away when a small boy with dirty hands threatens to put the Chocolate Cock in his mouth and pay a shilling for the privilege. The Cock runs away indignant at the idea of being sucked on and bitten and goes to a farm where he stands on a wall and proclaims his supremacy over all the animals and birds therein. However the heat is too much for the Chocolate Cock and he wilts ignominiously. A dog then licks up what he leaves behind.

St Clare's Naughtiest Girl. Please tell me that's not a series of iffy stick vids involving gratuitous spanking and dormitory lesbionics. I'm sure that Rule 34 applies and it is now, anyhow.

Mr Pink Whistle Interferes. The titular Mr Pink Whistle is half man, half brownie, or, in the stories' own words, "a funny little man" who has the ability to turn himself invisible and uses this ability to extract ironic vigilante justice on ill-behaved children. In this instalment, he's at a funfair where he sees a girl buying balloons. However a nasty safety-pin wielding boy called Wilfred sees this. Wilfred gets his prick out and pokes the girl's balloons with it and makes her cry. Mr Pink Whistle then follows Wilfred home and sneaks into his room late at night and sees Wilfred playing with his marbles. He then avenges the poor girl by magically turning his marbles into balloons and then bursting them. The moral of the story is that if you use your prick indiscriminately around girls, a weird man in a bow tie will interfere with you, and you'll end up losing your marbles.

Actually, anything involving Mr Pink Whistle. The man has Operation Yewtree written all over him.

Mr Pink Whistle Has Some Fun. No, you are not going to have fun with my pink whistle.

I think that's that, although no doubt mention should be made about the stony nature of some of her other works. The Magic Faraway Tree, anyone. A bunch of kids go up a tree which has a portal to an alternate dimension and have weirded out adventures therein. Either that, or it's a Changeling: The Lost fan fiction fifty years before the World of Darkness was ever thought of.

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