"KISS ME QUICK"
The note I received at dinner.
Yes. I got wicked retahded. There is evidence. I have the dark circles under my eyes and the battle scars to prove it. Thank you Cahla and thank you Miller. Because of all of your hard work, we were boozed up, smoked out, wined and dined, bedded down and entertained for a whole weekend. They deserve our thanks, our money and our first born children.
". . . and a Butterfinger Mcflurry."
-Crux, at McDonald’s, in full view of the Vermont
square dancing team (hubba hubba).
yru and I left from work at six, to abduct crux and bring him to BAP country (where the flavor is). Things were going well. Until we actually left. Foible one: We left the directions and phone numbers inside our workplace and had to detour to my apartment to get new copies. Foible two: We missed our exit twice. Foible three: We kept driving past chez crux. Foible four: We took a different route than planned and had to ask old codgers for directions. You’ve heard it. "Turn right at the old Johnson place, and hang another right at the brown dog. You can’t miss it!"
We listened to hockey, we listened to music, and we talked about how math is hard. Once we were close, I called thefez to find out if the party was still jumping, which in fact it was. After nearly crashing the car because we were so tired, we realized we better get there quick. It was time to get our second wind and I was getting excited.
"Calling fives. It’s not just a QXZ thing. Check the node!"
-Walter, when I questioned the validity of the fives rule.
After finding the house, I got my hug on. Chihuahua Grub was my first victim. Then it went on and on. Meeting people (iDeath, Jethro Bodine, Karmaflux, Mitzi and others). Seeking out the people I couldn’t wait to see again (too many to write here, you know who you are). Finding out that Cahla and Miller were still busy with details. Then I got a drink in each hand, a cigarette in my mouth and friends in my vicinity, and proceeded to party until the wee morning.
"No, but don’t tell anyone I’m not coming."
-Brassmule, when I asked whether or not he was coming.
He showed up a few hours later.
The Team Yellow Experience
A scavenger hunt. We didn’t know what to expect, but there were beach buckets and sand trowels involved, so it had to be good. Cahla broke us up into teams, which for the most part were not the people you arrived with and not your usual buddies, and then we bid on BAP noders, using future points as cash.
Team Yellow consisted of: Myself, Phyllis Stein, tandex, moxie, Kenny, and panamaus.
Our team picked out The Custodian, for 250 points, and he was worth every point we spent. He knew the city like the back of his hand, and we made great speed on our quest for names, dates, pictures and wangs. We started with a nice lunch, courtesy of our guide. Over food, Team Yellow agreed to do whatever it took to win and I went over some tips for successful lifting.
"Paul Revere died erect"
-Cemetery rubbing, by Moxie.
After the food and drink, the day consisted of walking and committing crimes. Crimes ranged from climbing onto public statuary to the theft of an actual copy of Touch the Puppy by Tandex. We handled dildos, scared the public by asking random walkers if they had heard of Brandon and Ricky and got really old people to make the devil sign. If we saw another team, we talked trash (well, I did). Team Yellow managed to get all but two of the required items, and a good bit of the booty, using super secret robot lasers. Or walking real fast. And on top of that we ate a fucking McFlurry!!
"Oh my god! This is like the third time you’ve mentioned spies! Now you’re just fucking with me."
-czeano, after I made what I
think was the first spy comment of
the evening. But I could be wrong.
Dinner that night was fun, and, yes, we all got seated pretty close together. Which lead to "mail". The paper on the table was quickly converted into insults and love letters and surreal comments. I’d like to thank the person who was kind enough to pass me a note, when I complained that I hadn’t gotten any mail.
"When I asked them to do that, I never
thought it would actually happen."
-Me, when Karmaflux and JethroBodine rubbed
their bare chests together, fulfilling my
dreams of homoeroticism at a meet.
The quote above pretty much sums up the after-dinner Saturday night. There was supposed to be a pub-crawl. But that doesn’t sound as appealing after walking four hours. So we congregated back at Cahla’s and had a replay of Friday night. It was a little more relaxing because we’d all gotten to know each other better.
Sunday was the cook off, but I know nothing about cooking, except it was all awesome. My thanks and props to the men and women who made my meal. We napped and played games and made music. And took our leave.
The Random Stuff:. . .experiencing Karmaflux’s super sexy handshake. . . Infinite Burn and Sondheim showing it to the fundamentalists. . . Cahla says "You finally brought your own cigarettes!". . . climbing the scaffold with Jethro Bodine. . . .grabbing Briiiiian’s ass, ninja style . . . QXZ keeping the party going in his own special way. . . Walter popping my wang on the nude dude. . . being kissed by moxie. . . donfreenut said "That was you?". . . the mystery of crux’s mom. . . .checking out she-male porn with czeano. . . the clampe-fez man-wall. . . tandex asking "What happened to Team Yellow?". . . Hemos saves the day. . . the nicest sleeping accommodations ever and last and best of all, getting to talk to witchiepoo on the telephone!
"Why don’t I ever bring my fucking notebook downstairs
when people are saying the cool stuff?"
-Cahla, in the basement. I don’t think
she ever brought down the notebook.
Let’s face it. Writing aftermath nodes is hard, especially after a big event. You are introduced to too many people in the space of a few hours and at the same time you’re drunk or whatever. When you leave it’s a surreal train of hugs and goodbyes. I haven’t written here about a quarter of the people I liked, or funny things that were said.
Didn’t see your name? A rose by any other. . . Don’t worry; I suck at names. But I can see your face. You turned to me and smiled and told me a story. And I’ll remember. Next time I see you, please do it again.