So, what's the deal? It's not the 4th yet, but I feel compelled to put this here anyways.
I know this sort of topic isn't highly regarded as a good thing on Everything, but hey, I don’t complain much. Anyways, here's the situation:
(oh yeah, it's about relationships)
Ok, I've been single for over a year, haven't dated much, don't really want to either. The last few weeks I've been thinking about this a lot. I suspect it's because of the cold, and knowing that school will be out soon.
So recently I've met some girls, and gotten in touch with some I used to know. It goes like this:
There's Jackie, she's 18, I'm 21, I'm absolutely infatuated with her.... not only is she cute, but she's also very smart and mature for her age, and lots of fun to be with...but she has a boyfriend. I've met him, I honestly don’t see what she could see in him and I suspect it's not very close.
Then there's Jessica, my first love, HS sweetheart. We broke up when I moved to go to school, it was hard on both of us and we had a pretty major falling out. Just recently we made up and we're being friends again. She knows I still love her and I'd love to be with her, but we're both in school in different states, and I'm not sure how she feels as she's reluctant to tell me much.
Then there's this other Jessica, she works at subway and she's very attractive (to me, I've been told I have odd taste in what I call attractive) I don’t know ANYTHING about her except she drives a Tiburon and works at subway)
So, here's what I cant decide: What do I do? See, I have a feeling I could probably be with Jackie, which would be nice in some ways, mainly instant gratification. But it would be hard on me in other ways, mainly the fact that I really don’t feel right poaching another guy's girl. That and I don’t know how Jessica (1) would handle it, which you'll have to see below for more info about
Like, right here. Jessica(1) is the girl I was with in high school, basically my first everything you can imagine... kiss, love, sex, breakup (and on and on...). I always felt we broke up out of circumstance, as a long distance relationship between New Mexico and Hawaii just wasn't going to work. I didn't know how bad I hurt her till recently. In the last two months we've been talking a LOT, getting to be friends again. I've told her how I feel. I'm still in love with her, or who she was then. I'd do a lot to be with her again, but I don’t think I could leave school and move. The idea of another long distance relationship scares me to death. The other things too is that if I end up with someone else, will I blow my chance at happiness in the future with Jessica?
Which makes me mention this OTHER Jessica (actually there's yet another Jessica, but we wont get into her).
This girl is just really cute, and she's always nice, and stuff. The reason I mention her is because I've had thoughts for a long time of just going into where she works (subway) and asking her out. I don’t think that would be very tactful though, and she's probably say no based on the fact that she knows nothing about me. *sigh* it's all good though.
So.... I'm stuck with this big looming "what if" over my head. Any suggestions? Sorry to waste the space on the dayogs, but then, this will be dust tomorrow, figured I shouldn’t waste a node on it.