Thank you Christine and Rupert
These people guided us through London attempting to continue revelries after being abruptly and inconsiderately expelled from the pleasant drinking environment. The trail they led us on was not entirely successful, it was a difficult journey and only the strong survived. We missed the opportunity to "Dance in a Lesbian Bar", a la Jonathan Richman, although Chiisuta and TheLady made a great attempt to get in. SharQ was fortunate enough to find a white label 12" by Warp Nine, entitled, "Laws of Motion, Test". Spurning this unique find he passed it on to me and I shall, tomorrow, be able to inform you of it's content. From their the journey continued into Soho and we were forced to split off and depart in the direction of Leicester Square tube station to begin out trek home, as jobby put it
"There are only three places further south than Tooting Bec - Colliers Wood, Wimbledon and Morden - and Morden is next to fucking Savacentre for fucks sake"
and so we were forced to say our good byes and mark the end of an extremely enjoyable evening.
It had begun with us arriving at The Bricklayer's Arms and discovering wertperch giving a foot massage to chiisuta, and it was in this vein that the evening was to continue. Wertperch was considerate enough to spread his massage skills and we began to circulate. I was able to identify jodrell from his geek code,
"s+++:++" - meaning, "I usually have to duck through doors. I'm a linebacker candidate."
once we got talking the evening had truly kicked off to an excellent start. However jobby
was not happy until he had spoken to his idol, spinyNorm
, who was, of course, propping up the bar.
From here the evening moved on in something of a haze. At some point Tiefling led us on a trip for food, which resulted in us finding wertperch and chiisuta in a pizza restaurant (yes, wertperch was yet again alone with a lovely lady, how does he do it?). The pizza was cheap and delicious and people seemed to have "peep eyes bigger nor rumpty", as my grandma used to say (your eyes are bigger than your stomach for all you young 'uns out there), and so I was able to significantly increase my pizza intake without the normal further purchase requirements.
The journey back to the pub was yet again fraught with difficulties but somehow we won through and we received a hero's welcome upon our return. Chiisuta took me to her breast (in a loving, kindly and American sort of way you cynics) and it was there that I happily remained for most of the evening. We talked of deep and meaningful subjects such as love, cultural boundaries and sex.
The conversation continued, pleasantly added to by the likes of werty, TheLady, catchpole, ascorbic, The Oolong Man and even Frankie, who dropped in before meeting her boyfriend. As we were threatened with vile punishments if we failed to extricate ourselves from the establishment, The Alchemist heard the shouts of "MONKEY, MONKEY" from across the room. And so we were introduced to Christine and Rupert, fellow monkey lovers amidst a sea of ignorance. They were to lead us on a merry dance for the remainder of the evening before we were forced, as I have already heart-rendingly recounted, to say our goodbyes.
So as tears well to your eyes yet again I will round the last bend in this meandering tale. I returned to jobby's house whereupon we fired up the PS2, loaded GTA3 and most importantly heated up some nachos in the microwave which we ate with some decently spicy Old El Paso Thick and Chunky "Hot" salsa. What could complete this wonderful evening, I hear you clamour. Well, tomorrow I have the delight of helping out with a lesson for mathematically gifted seven year olds, at the delightful hour of 10:30.