The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, as written by Ernest Hemingway (or is it
Raymond Chandler?):
The
Vogon Captain barked out his poem. Art had heard worse. The
Babel Fish squirmed in Art's ear. Ford had passed out next to him.
Art propped himself up on one elbow. He pulled a fine Havana cigar out of his pocket. He borrowed the guard's blaster and lit it.
The guard shouted "HEY, DON'T MESS WITH THAT! THAT'S MY BLASTER!"
The Captain broke off his poem suddenly. "You do not seem to understand the situation you are in", the Captain said.
"
I am reading you a poem."
Art had heard an accent like the Captain's from some
Hungarian tourists on his trip to
Greece.
Good fishing in Greece.
"I've heard worse."
The Captain's face suddenly turned bright green. He must be getting angry.
"Are you telling me my poem is bad?"
Art exhaled a cloud of fine
Havana smoke into the Captain's face. It turned greener still.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"I'll give you one last chance. Did you like my poem?"
"I've heard worse."
"Guard! Throw these scum out of the
airlock!"
The Guard picked Art up under one arm. He tucked Ford under the other.
"RESISTANCE IS USELESS!" The guard shouted as he carried Art and Ford out the door towards the airlock.
"I'M SORRY I HAVE TO DO THIS TO YOU, MR. DENT. BUT I HAVE TO DO MY DUTY. MY GRANDFATHER WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED IN ME IF I DIDN'T".
"I understand.
A man has to do what a man has to do."
What a wimp thought Art.