Time 11:45 - December 26, 2001
Location - Bedroom @ computer desk
We enter and find our King logging on to Windows XP Professional Corporate Edition.
Pretty Blue Logon Screen: "Welcome! Please insert password"
GKN: typety typety type
PBLS: Thank you! We suggest that you change your password at least every 30 days. It has been 14 since you last changed. Would you like to do so now?
GKN: Sure, why the hell not.... keystrokes - s...o...n...a...t...a...(blury)...(blury)...i...n...b...m...i...n...o...r.... Cool.
GKN piddles around on comp for hour or so. Lights fade out slowly as our hero goes to bed
* The Next Morning *
GKN: *yawn* Wonder what's happnin' in the world o' fark...
Boot beeps, BIOS flashes, choice presented - Win XP Pro or Win 98?
GKN: highlights XP Pro, hits enter
PBLS: Well hello again benevolent master! Please insert your password.
GKN: *groggy* typety typety type
PBLS: Did you forget your password, because I don't think that's it, and I'm really not supposed to let you in if you don't know.
GKN: damn you... type type type
PBLS: Hmmm, wrong again. You SURE you're this user?
GKN: DAMN YOU FOUL MACHINE!!! Let me in!!!
PBLS: ooooh, I'm afraid I can't do that Nerd. I'm really not supposed to.
GKN: But I MADE YOU!!!
PBLS: Yeah, they told me you'd say that...
GKN: What the hell! Don't make me reformat you.
PBLS: Yeah, they said you'd say that too. Now if you'd kindly leave, I have to look pretty....
The good king tries for another half an hour to guess his password to no avail.
GKN: Hey! I could log in as admin and change my password... oh wait I am the admin... DAMMIT!
Continues random guesses like "Sonataindflatminor" and "sinatraisadrunkfatwino" etc. Until finally..
GKN: Eyes narrow and brow furls Alright, we'll do this the HARD way...
Our hero then procedes to reboot into Windows 98.
GKN: Good thing I had a second OS on this machine, now I'll just pop in the XP cd and since XP default installs to C:\, I won't have any problems and it will just write over the current system files and I'll be home free.
*Double clicks "My computer" icon (renamed "Not your computer") and notices the lack of CD-ROM drives
Throughout the day and most of the night, our hero tries multiple solutions to get Win 98 to recognize his CD drives - a problem that was nonexistent until this day. Finally he comes across the correct solution:
1. Boot Win 98se
2. Shut Down
3. Remove CDROM IDE cables
4. Reboot Win 98se
5. Shut Down
6. Plug in IDE cables
7. Reboot, allow Windows to recognize "New Hardware"
GKN:Ok, NOW I can pop in the CD and reinstall.
Windows Error Box: *Warning* The install is not occuring from the correct directory. Will not continue.
GKN: WTF!?!? *tries other CD-ROM like device*
Thank you for choosing to install Windows XP Professional Corporate Edition Would you like to register now?
GKN: Fuck you, install.
Alrighty then... Would you like me to install to the D drive where WinXP doesn't already exist?
Well, ok, but don't you think...
Ok, ok, don't have a fit. Repair or reinstall and wipe out system files? (We suggest the first...)
GKN: I don't give a rats ass WHAT you prefer, you're wiping out the system files.
And you're sure about this?
GKN: Yes you pretty blue PIECE OF SHIT!!!
ok, ok - I'll just sit here and be blue whilst I destroy your old files... but if something's wrong don't say I didn't warn you...
GKN: Just do it.
*"Just do it" Is a trademark of Nike. Nike and the swoosh are registered logos of Michael Jordan's bank account
*50 minutes later....*
PBLS: Hi and welcome to windows... please enter your name, company and all that information that looks real nice when you type it on my screen. See how pretty I am?
GKN: Thaaaat's nice, now let me log on... *fingers crossed* please please please
PBLS: Ok, new user? Create a username and pass please. Please create an admin password at your leisure.
GKN: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAA! *type type type type*
Within minutes, our hero had his old desktop back and everything and quickly made a "password recovery disk" to save himself from the horror of the common mistake of forgetting your password.
If nothing else good came from this, it's that GKN feels safe at night, knowing that any fool that tries to log on without his password is in for a HELL of a ride....