Moby's Porcelain is stuck on loop in the back of my brain and I can't get it out. It's 3:23 AM, I can hear one of my three roommates having sex with his girlfriend. To be honest, I don't hear him, I hear her. Her moaning, each individual "Ah!" louder than the last. Surprisingly this doesn't annoy me, but I think I've just become so desensitized by this point that it doesn't matter anymore.

I've been waiting for a phone call. Of course it's a girl, it always is. Laura. 5'7ish, very soft - almost fluffy - black hair, slim, pale, cute, blue eyes, intelligent. She's been in Colorado for the last week and was going to call me when she got back. We're supposed to go out. She didn't call. I'm not disturbed by this, she never remembers to call, I always end up calling, but I hoped this time she would remember. I'll call her tomorrow between two summer classes I don't want to be taking - Electronic Expression and Internet Studio. I'm taking the former because it's requisite to graduate, the latter because it's requisite for a prescribed elective I want to take.

My check card has gone missing. I can't say I blame it, I wouldn't want to stay in my pocket 24/7 either, but I wish it had waited the last 3 weeks till it expired and my new one arrived. As it is I'll have to wait till the bank finds it convenient to mail me a new one, at least they cancelled the lost.

Somehow in the last 10 minutes I've downloaded 2.5 gigs of a 4.3 gig file over a 1.5 mbit DSL line. To those of you that don't know what this means, I've somehow recieved data at approximately 12-15 times the theoretical maximum speed. This is like going warp nine in a scooner. I want to know how I did it, and I want to repeat it. Wow.

Amid all the rambling and thought there is little time for reflection and even now I don't know what I want. I know the generics, I want a girlfriend - but I don't know who. I like Laura, she's cute, soft, fun, and rather sexy but I haven't known her long. I ran into an old flame I fucked up with so long (2 years) ago and realized just how much I wanted her still. She's taken now, but in the grand scheme of things what are boyfriends if not just another obstacle? Does thinking that make me a bad person? I don't know, and I don't care.

Edit: June, 2007: It amazes me that I was ever this dumb. If she doesn't call when she says she'll call, she's not interested. Jesus H Christ.