How I came to be a noder

So, I'm not even invited to the party, but my wife is helping Tandex's wife cater it, so I feel somewhat compelled to help go to the grocery when asked. Someone's car was blocking Stefanie's driveway. I was planning on leaving town that weekend to change the oil in my car, and visit friends back home. Most importantly, I needed to find my hat. So, while shopping Stef walks us back and forth across Giant Eagle four or five times looking for different things, and an hour trip turns into two. I am so glad my wife shops off of a list. I have plenty of patience, as I haven't made hard plans with anyone. While shopping I hear about this beautiful man that is sleeping in the guest room, and about the party that would take place that evening.

It's all about everything and you can go if you want (Apparently Zot extended an invitation because my wife helped with the catering). What is everything? Some web page of some sort, which has its own culture. O.k. hanging out with a bunch of folks I don't know who have their own subculture doesn't quite sound like something I would like. It is being held over at Zot's house. I know Zot from the old BBS days, and the first time I met him, I was in a dress, and he had just seen The Crying Game. But there is someone there you know, Eric. His name is Chad, and he says he knows you from OSU. OH MY GOD! If he is who I think he is, then he is a friend of someone I used to know that likes to fuck sheep. More reason to just go to Nerk this weekend.

As we are pushing the groceries to the car, I chuckle, and ask Stef, "If I go, can I take my paints?" Surprisingly I was told I could, but they probably won't go for the whole nude painting thing. Ya know, that is all right. Painting on people's bodies isn't about nudity for me. It is about the fun. O.k. now I am tempted. We return to the home of Tandex and Stefanie after acquiring Wendy's for those who were there.

While chopping veggies with Jurph, Tandex asked me if I was going to go to the party, and I replied I was thinking I might, and was thinking of bringing my paints. Again I was surprised to be encouraged, and I decided I would go, I just had go home first. The absolutely beautiful man awoke from his coma, and I commented that he looked very much like Nelson from the Simpsons. Stef took offence, but Jurph backed me up. Once the girls no longer needed us, Tandex, Jurph, and Nelson (I cannot remember his node name) left for Zot's, and I returned home to try to change my oil without ramps.

Not being able to get my head under the car, I paint myself gold, gather my stuff, and head out to the party. If I want to paint on people, how better to advertise than to paint myself? I arrive at Zot's, and most folks are out at the park, but Tandex is there, and is looking at me oddly. He should know better than to encourage me to do something and expect me not to do it.

Chad aka Ccunning was there. He didn't seem to recognize me. As I had gotten it in my head that he was someone else, and this party was completely out of the context in which I normally see him, I didn't think to re-think his identity. I started talking to him as if he were the friend of a former friend who fucks sheep. I told him that Betty (another mutual friend of myself, and the person I thought I was talking to) would be surprised to find out that I had seen him. When Ccunning asked, "Who's Betty?" all clicked into place. I apologized for having misplaced him in my mind, and continued to talk about the pleasantries of the day.

The coolest part of the evening is that I did get to break out my paints and paint on other people. I painted a bat on someone's face, a cute dinosaur on someone's arm, a flame on Impishlaugh's leg, and I filled in color on Tandex's tattoo. The rest of the night was spent talking to people I don't know, and meeting new folks, whose names I have no chance of remembering. I also recall many trips to the used beer depository upstairs. Staying in Columbus was worth it.