I was going to carry it through.
I was gonna quit smoking this time.
First week—Hell Week—no problem.
Second week...still going strong—oops! Had a ciggy on Saturday.
The third week was going ok, I was still eating right, and exercising. I had my head on. My new therapist was supportive. But then I smoked a butt every day that weekend. Every time, I’ve been hanging out with my best friend. We’re working on a project, and I find myself joining him for an “award.” I can’t bloody well blame him for it. It’s my decision to make. I slipped. Won’t happen again. I know it won’t
Within another week I was getting mad busy at work. All these changes were making me feel out of sorts... and I had to do artwork that week! “I’m not functioning as an artist anymore! I’m a programmer now. Make up your damn minds; I can only wear so many hats at once. Hell, the admin overhead around here is like a full-time job in and of itself.”
What’s a boy to do? I bought a pack of smokes and got down to business. Finished the design project. Haven’t skated in a week. Stopped eating almost altogether. Tripled my caffeine intake. And I got lots of good computer chair time. Even let my regular work slide... not too smart considering my attendance issues. Felt like the rope in a tug of war. Empire building within the firm. “We want him!” “No, he’s got responsibilities here.”
Two weeks later, heavy-chested, and already starting to gain back the 10lbs I lost, I’m contemplating another quit. I’m starting to consider a date, and planning exercise outings all weekend.
No problem, just ‘cause I didn’t make it last time. I can do it again. I did it for a year, once. I got all the way through a year, and on the anniversary of my quit, I smoked half a pack... of my brand, too. That’ll teach ya. Mom goes into the hospital, and BAM! back on the nogs, puffin’ like a dragon. Feelin’ it too. There goes the physical therapy. There goes the weekend hockey. There goes the bike. Damn cig-dawgs.
Smoked me out for another year and a half.
But, I’ll get ‘em this time. Won’t be no sneaky-pete this time. No cheating. Plan it out, and keep the quit.
for more information, see www.quitnet.org
Thank you for your time.