I go through these days where everything is so silent in my mind, and the outside world is so loud by comparison that I get earaches so bad they cause me to cry. (this is made worse by the fact that due to something that happened to me a few years ago I now have an equilbrium problem that has to do with my ear. It's...confusing. And, not something I like to talk about.)

Today is one of those days.

This might have to do with the four hours of sleep I got last night. A friend of mine came into to town from about two hours away and we went out after I got off of work last night. She's incredible. She lived here up until two weeks ago. I miss her. Anyway, We saw a few local bands play downtown. The last one we heard was not a band, but a chick with a guitar. She was incredible. One of the songs she sang reminded me of a friend (Well, I think we're still friends. I don't know, you'd have to ask him. And, I say YOU because I'm tired of him, unamused by him, and weary of having to deal with his immaturity again.) I must have looked sad because Erin reached over and held my hand as if to say, " It'll be ok." For someone who's got a lot of shit happening in her life right now, she's incredibly perceptive and caring. Afterwards, a group of about ten of us went out to " The Cliffs" that overlook a lake in the area. We live in the middle of nowhere So, out on the lake you can see the whole sky and all of the stars. It was incredibly peaceful and incredibly beautiful. There was a little breeze blowing, but not enough that it made us shiver. The moon shone through the trees and onto the lake. We all seemed to curl up in two to three people huddles. We sang each other Pixies songs, and joked about throwing people into the lake. We decided to go home at about four. I fell asleep. I had a disturbing dream and woke up at about six. No, it must have been later than that, because I saw the sunrise. I fell asleep again until about 9:30 and then I got up and showered.
My first class of the day was incredibly disheartening. I never feel as dumb as I do when I'm sitting in front of 60 year old woman butchering her native language while she says, " Come on... It's common sense." And, whereas I know better, a foreign language isn't going to come to me as common sense, she's right, I should be better. I ripped my contact in my second class, don't ask me how because I don't know. I rode the bus home teary eyed so I could take care of it. And, now I'm at work. I want to jab a pencil into my left ear it hurts so much (and for some reason I think that will make it better.) I have faith that the day will end well, though, because I found a note in my backpack from Erin that has her new phone number on it.

Now, If I could just get my ears to stop hurting....
Added much later...I had been done with work for about two hours when my friend Jonathon stopped by. He woke me up, which was fine, I was on my way to a nightmare. Jonathon and I are a lot alike. He seems to be just as frustrated with everything that is going on here as I am. We went to Perkins in search of cinanmon rolls and cherry coke. We sang to each other. Lately I've been wishing I had one desire... And Baby, I love you. That's why I'm leaving. There's just no talking to you, and there's just no pleasing you. I care enough that I'm mad... So my day ended with a smile.