Long day. Long Weekend. Long everything.
of mine died last week. The funeral
was on Sunday. My family couldn't go. Too long to drive
, too expensive
to fly. In January My mom and I are going to have to drive out, though, to pick up some things
. It didn't really hit me until today. I was walking to class listening to Polly Jean
's cover of Is that all there is?
and I just burst into tears
. This is all there is.
But, I wasn't crying because this sucks
, on the contrary, I felt very lucky
is a complicated
thing, at least for me, I have no reason to assume it's different for other people. You could say that he was the creepy
uncle that no one ever talked about. I was too young
to remember, but his marriage broke up over an issue of domestic violence
. Which is to say, he was violent with his children
. One of whom has no contact with the family
whatsoever. (Which is sad, because she is the other geek girl
in the family.) However, that's not how I remember
him. He used to always come and visit at Christmas
with his Father. He liked brussel
sprouts and classic movies. I think the first time I saw Casablanca (well, the first twenty
minutes of it, I fell asleep) was with him in our living room
. When I think
of Christmas, that is one of the first things
that pop into my head. He hasn't visited since Grandpa died, and we've moved, but that's still a very powerful memory
for me. He will be missed.