"..the sound of my words, are always so shocking.." Martin Gore
, A smile in the crowd
I've been trying to lighten up on daylogs, but since they've gotten me this far, I thought it fitting to update at this time of my life.
Another chapter is ending. In two weeks I end my exile here on Long Island, New York. I'm heading westward, to Durango, Colorado. This is the one trip out of the many "get up go ones"that I've actually planned- I have an apartment waiting, good job prospects, and a cool ass girl waiting. It's almost too easy, takes half the fun out of it. Almost.
I've learned alot this past year-mainly about myself. When I fell to Florida in the fall of 99, I was a broken wreck. By the time I left there, I thought I had healed, but it wasnt until I spent some time here alone that I realized how messed up, if not more, I had become. I did alot of good there, but I balanced it out with alot of negative shit-most of them only known to myself. I stepped all over people that befriended me, not conciously at the time, but in retrospect. My apologies came too late-I was already forgotten.
Here I made none of those mistakes. I worked, I kept to myself. I made a very few friends, and despite a stumble or two at first, I can leave with a clear concscience now.
Something I'll never take for granted again.