The La Bria Tar Pits of my Life
I wonder just why is that I continue to make a mess out of my emotional well-being by situations I either create or just plain let happen. Talked to verity last night in Virginia. She wants to fly up for a weekend to see me, and Long Island. I'm in shock, pleasant shock, but shock nonetheless. This is a girl I made every effort to push away when I met her in Florida out of the guilt that I was in no way good enough for her. At the time it didn't help that I was massively depressed with life in general. Now things are different, with me, and her, and life in general. It makes me step back and really think about her in a new light. She was always a true friend, for the short time I knew her, but I still think she deserves better than me. I look forward to seeing her though, and I'm through pushing away light. A little sun never hurt the darkness, just makes it harder to hide in the shadows.
The phone is on! Huzzah. It only took Verizon (The Evil Empire Part Deux) three weeks to hook it up. I tore it up last night, calling Florida, reaching out to numbers I had almost forgotten. Talked to my little taurus girl friend there, she said she stopped frequenting Insomnia, since I don't go there anymore. They always knew how to bolster my ego, those Florida girls.
I'm still in shock about the news from Baltimore. Not really my place to get into specifics, concerning where I'm writing this, but I feel a sense of loss creeping up on me, very quietly, with a very large, nail studded 2x4 in paw.
I make a good target.