"My little girl, drive anywhere, do you want, I don't care..." Depeche Mode
I sit here Sunday morning, drinking coffee (with chocolate soy milk..yummy) and smoking State Express 555, my favorite imported cigarettes. After reading the other daylogs sharing todays space, I don't feel so bad about my phucked up love life..seems everyone else is doing just as miserably.
As I glide closer to level three, I take a long look at my writeup list...not many nodes there besides these logs. In a way, I feel kinda bad, but in another, not really. There's plenty in my personal collection I can node, and do plan to, the time hasn't been right yet, and I want to add some content that's worthwhile. The daylogs are a serperate beast for me..as far as I'm concerned, I don't think they should even count torwards level climbing, but I'm only a squid, what do I know? I do appreciate the feedback I've gotten, and I suppose they've been perfect practice for the noding I plan to do. So thank you, E2, for providing this wonderful place for me to keep track of this cumbersome thing we call daily existance.
So, to this weekend. Not much going on, been stuck in the apato, working on a new webpage. Just a point and click jobber off of geocities, we still have some quirks to iron out before we can host off our linux server we have set up here. I've been making plans to start studying for my first Lotus Notes certificate; I'd like to take the test by March if possible. Tired of making this chump change. I got my first real paycheck friday, a measely 700 dollars after taxes for 92 hours of labor. Granted, it's art labor, but still..I can do alot better. Trying to convince Randy to start taking database design projects on the side, so we can get some extra income, and I can have something to learn Lotus by doing it (the only way I can learn). So, we'll see. His thai girlfriend is here this weekend, Yusa. She flies back to Iman, Jordan, tonight. They've been locked in bedroom, giving my shy looks whenever they venture out to the living room (where I usually dwell in my corner of technological solitude, industrial music pumping 15 hours a day...) I'm turning into what I usually detest as an empathic artist type - the techie shut-in, drinking soda, coffee, chainsmoking and contemplating Buddhist philosophy to the sweet strains of stripped down german industrial music...the color of my clothes shifting to neutral greys and blacks, my deep florida tan fading as I slowly forget the heat of the sun and my heart going cold as I slowly lose the memory of flashingeyes and sultry sighs of my girls I left there...
I build this fragile shell around me, wondering what will emerge...