Know me and tremble, voting public.

From the deep I have come, bearer of tentacled terror and sound fiscal policy initatives, to rule this land of "America".

My erstwhile opponents will call me "ruthless". They will call me "inhuman". They will call me "cold blooded." This is all well and good.

Soon enough, they will call me "Mr. President".

Citizens, support the nonpartisan candidate that sees enemies and friends alike as tasty, crunchable morsels. Support the candidate who stands for the values you believe in: hydroelectric power, irrational violence, and a flat tax. Support GIANT SQUID.

Giant Squid and Knife Fight Monkey in 2004!

Thank you.

Giant Squid Party platform coming soon.