She just left my place a few minutes ago. She was sleeping on my floor, so I snuggled up against her. I enjoy it so much. I was paying perfect attention to her, and suddenly, I heard her exhale - and it reminded me of something. I listened again and again, until I was sure I heard the pattern perfectly. Have any of you played "Metroid 2: Return of Samus" for GameBoy? I have. It was one of my favorite games, way back when I was in 3rd or 4th grade. That was some time ago. Her exhales sounded exactly like the noise the mother brain makes when you hit her with a missile, and then freeze her with a missile. I mean it sounded exactly like that. It made me think about being younger again; about how much I had ahead of me then. It made me hope to God that I am not going to be a failure. Being reminded of being so young, so fresh, and so innocent, by something as beautiful as a girl's breath wooshing over my eardrum - it made me feel so deeply. I pray every day that people are living fully - I pray so much that I am not a failure. I would not be able to deal with letting my Mother down.

While Jennifer was sleeping, I watched her, and I felt so scared. I was so scared of not being realized - not being attained. I feel so deeply and badly for those who go through life, only not to have soared, not to have experienced fully the wonder of one's own existance. I hope and pray that she does - and I hope and pray that I do. I do the same for everyone - all of you, even if I may not like who you are.

I am so sad.