... and I don't want to be either.

Well, that's the original quote, anyway. It's one of the only things I remember from a friend's dad. I've always considered it a bloody clever sentence, and used to live by it. For a long time after I asked him to bet me and he told me that, I didn't bet. When people asked me, "wanna bet?", I used to repeat it.

After a while, I began to realise that I was misusing that sentence. So I started saying it only when I would have been the fool. When I was the crook, I declined from mentioning it; or if I did, I said it as advice (for the next time), as I was collecting my dividends.

As a side note: I am now the proud owner of a Johnnie Walker Blue Label and I haven't lost a bet in 6 years.

The moral of this story: when you are about to make a bet, make sure you are the crook. If you are unsure, and think that MAYBE you're the crook, you're probably the fool.