I admit it, I am just a useless white boy, and don't understand shit when it comes to rap, but I have decided I have to comment on this new trend. I am not extremely well versed in the history of rap, but as much as I do know, there have never been such lily-scented poofters in the rap scene as there are today. I mean, Craig David?!!? What the fuck is that all about? What a pussy. "Took her for a drink on Tuesday." I mean, come on.

Rappers used to be real men. Even at the beginning, the founders of rap, rappers like Kurtis Blow, Afrika Bambaataa, Grandmaster Flash - they weren't hardcore gangsta rappers, but they weren't frigging crybabies. And later on, as rap gained more of a personality, and became a recognised musical style, there were no petite-moustache-wearing wimps. Let us examine, if you will, the most respected rappers from 1980 to the present day, and inspect whether they are real men:

And then comes Craig David: "I'm walking away from the troubles in my life." Which rapper walks away from the troubles in his life?

But pussy-boy Craig David walks away.

You see, Craig David is a 90's man: sensitive. He drinks Chardonnay and has a savings account. He wears Gucci and has a Rolex. He sleeps in silk bed sheets. But most importantly: he respects his woman. He makes love to his woman.

In Seven Days, Craig David the sissy, takes out his woman for a drink on Tuesday and makes love to her on Wednesday, and Thursday and Friday. Oh what a sensitive man. Of course he made sure she came before he did, and hugged her afterwards. Aaaaarrrgggghhhhh!!! That is not the behaviour of a real rapper. When I asked several prominent rappers about what they thought about women and relationships, these are thes responses I got, and a good thing too:

And it's not just Craigy that pisses me off, and he didn't even start this pussy trend - Boys II Men (you can tell by their name they are pansies) were singing pussy songs in the 90's. When Naughty By Nature were down with OPP, Boys II Men were finding it hard to say say goodbye to yesterday.

I propose we put a stop to this shit right now, before Craig David comes out with a new song entitled "Wearing Your Favorite Cologne When You Come Home" or something.

liontamer and Dreamvirus have kindly pointed out to me that Craig David is, in fact, considered to be an R&B vocalist. This is in fact true. Craig David wanted to call himself a rapper, but Ice T, Mooseman and Eric C said that if he called himself a rapper, they would, and I quote "fuck you up with a chainsaw, bitch". I believe the term "boot in your ass" was also used at some stage, followed by whimpering noises.

So Craig David is not officially a rapper, but he is still, officially a cashmere wearing poofter. But what the hell do I know. As mkb succintly put it in the softlink: I am just a useless white boy, and don't understand shit when it comes to rap.

Have I mentioned yet that I don't understand shit when it comes to rap? Don't take me seriously, damn it!

BTW, Craig David is still a pussy.