this is how my day has gone so far:

i've really wanted to go out to dance for a long time now. for a couple of weeks i've been planning on going out tonight to a place called 'cyan'. it's a nightclub, and it's outdoors and it is supposed to have cool 80's music. i got really psyched up to go. i was with my girlfriend at her house until about half an hour ago. i came home to get dressed while she got dressed to save time, and then i was supposed to go pick her up.

so i get home, and put on a shirt i hadn't wore since last summer - it's quite cool, and i had been looking forward to wear it for about a year. this was supposed to be the first summer thing i go to.

then my mother called. to make sure i was okay. you see, there are 2 main areas for outdoor nightclubs in tel aviv. in the other (not the one i was going to go to), a terrorist just blew himself up. my mother was listening to the radio, and wanted to make sure i was alright. the terrorist was standing in line to a popular nightclub called 'pacha'.

i'm now listening to the radio. naturally i'm not going out dancing. it just feels too close to home. i mean, i'm scared to go dancing today, and probably will be in the next few months. fuck. i really don't know what the hell to do. you just can't go to any public places anymore. people always say "we won't let them get to us, we'll keep on having fun". but that's just crap. when they start bombing nightclubs on friday night, nothing is safe anymore. all i can think of right now is that i really have to get the fuck out of this fucking country.

i don't know how many injured or dead there are, but the reporter was trying to ask a girl if she had seen what happened, and all the girl could do was scream "what are you talking about? there are dead children here."

in the same newscast i heard that a bomb went off in the city where i grew up, on the street where my best friend used to live. his parents still live there. i called him up to make sure they are all right, but didn't get through. they would have said on the radio if anyone died, but i still hope they're all right.

my dad just called to make sure i'm all right.

some parents aren't going to get through to their kids tonight.