Today I'm going to ask my girlfriend to marry me!

Oh what a glorious, glorious day! And she's going to be so happy that I'm doing it on Valentine's day. It is the perfect day to express our love - such a romantic day. I have bought a 24-carat gold engagement ring, and a teddy bear that says "I wuv you". That teddy bear is so cute. I wuv you. She'll love it. She'll wuv it even :) I also bought a dozen roses. Bright red. As bright as our love. I hope she'll say yes.

Yesterday we were arguing about who loves the other more. We were just sitting on the sofa looking into each other's eyes as we often do , and I noticed how perfectly her eyelids shut when she blinks. So I kissed her eyelid and told her how much I love her. She said "I love you more." And that's how the argument started. It was the first argument we ever had. After about 2 minutes of arguing, we called it a tie and made love again. I love her so much!

Before I decided to ask her to marry me I made a list of things I love about her. At some stage I decided that I would stop if I reached 500 things. But of course I couldn't. I did make myself stop at 600, though. I won't write it all here, but here are the first 10:

  1. I love the way your hair smells first thing in the morning.
  2. I love the dimples in your cheeks when you smile.
  3. I love the lines in your forehead when you pretend to frown at me.
  4. I love the way you pronounce your 'R's.
  5. I love how you warm my nose when I'm cold.
  6. I love the way your bellybutton seems to be an endless vortex.
  7. I love how you know exactly where the itch is in my back.
  8. I love how you paint your fingernails a different colour every week.
  9. I love that you match your toenails to your fingernails.
  10. I love how sometimes your eyeglasses aren't straight, and I have to straighten them for you.
  11. I love the way you lie down on my side, to warm up the bed for me.
I know I said 10, but I couldn't help myself :)

Oh glorious glorious day!

I hear her coming now. I'm going to ask her to marry me!

update: the bitch said no. who the fuck does she think she is? I told her I was only joking (which of course I was). it was all just a joke. i wanted to ask her to marry me and then dump her to watch the stupid look on her face. ha ha. who's sorry now, bitch? who's sorry now?