I introduced my cousin Louise to my friends in a moment of weakness. I had always considered her a fun packed frolicking fool and I thought she might fit right in. She slept with a few of them and became good friends with others. People talked about Louise and her exploits with an amused glint in their eyes. She adored the attention, being a drama queen at heart.

A few years down the line and I had noticed people were treating her with a great deal of sympathy and I couldn't work out why. Then one of my friends made a slip and said the Louise had leukaemia. I was shocked and concerned, however knowing Louise had lied in the past in attempts to get attention, I checked with the family. It turned out to be the case again, Louise was lying to her friends my friends.

So choosing my time carefully I took her aside and said that immortal line, You're awfully fucking fat for someone with leukaemia. She didn't talk to me for three years but I didn't care because I was so angry with her. She rarely mentions it now but my friends laugh about it all the time.


Before any more Americans /msg me to death, I live in the UK and we DO spell it leukaemia as does Webster 1913. I also say paediatrician rather than pediatrician thankyouverymuch.