user since
Sat Feb 24 2001 at 15:26:08 (22.6 years ago )
last seen
Thu Mar 15 2001 at 05:30:56 (22.5 years ago )
level / experience
0 (Initiate) / 1
mission drive within everything
Everyone has a hidden agenda
computers, life, debating anything, skateing, movies
Send private message to Fathrtime

I am 20 years old, its as simple as this right now, my passions is computers, its been since i was 5. heres where i am in life, somthing i never saw comming. i fell in love, we were perfect together, but drugs got in the way, my depression came into play and it was X 10. but the thing is we started to deal, we cared so much for eachother, i was going to get help and stoped the drug. then she dissapears for 3 days, and on valentines day she comes home to roses, baloons, notes hidden all over to suprise her and let her know how much i care, a stuffed animal, a card, and a diamond necklace. she leaves me, she says she cant handle a relationship now and she needs to be alone to work on her problems, says she loves me and walks. i lost it, i admitted myself to a mental ward. i need real help, i did what i could to better myself to be happy, 5 days into being there i found out that she is now dateing my best friend. i am so hurt and lost and now i am trying to get her back and find myself at the same time, i want to be where i was. i finnaly found what i lost, it had been gone for 5 years, i love to make people think, piss them off or what ever, just get them to listen long enough to think of other options. so here i am, trying to reclaim everything that was true in my life all at one time and trying to stay sane at the same time, its the hardest thing i have ever faced. you can say i am young and that i have alot left to live but like everyone else, i have seen more in mylife than i should have, this is just a new chapter, but the fact is that with every step forward i hurt that much more but there is no backing up now, so forward i must go into uncertainy but i go with hope.