In some ways, the intergender sleepover is the Holy Grail of the teenage struggle against oppressive parenting and/or the need to get some. Please do not attempt this without first mastering either Girls' Sleepovers or Boys' Sleepovers.

The first obstacle in the way of this wonderful event is undoubtably the set of joyless, overprotective imbeciles that conspire to ruin every adolescent's life (TWAJS). Parents invariably will come up with spurious reasons for not allowing their 13 year-old daughter to stay the night unsupervised in the presence of teenage boys. The real reason is of course that teenagers, darkness and a lack of adults generally ends in the maternity ward.

However, by judicious use of the White Lie, it is a relatively simple affair to circumvent parents and at least make it to the sleepover. The rewards for doing so are simply astronomical.

Intergender Sleepover Checklist

Spin The Bottle

Regarded as somewhat lame in more mature circles, Spin The Bottle is nevertheless a good opening gambit, especially if you play it in conjunction with some lubrication. That's alcohol, y'all. Don't worry that you're too young - you won't get through much of it and it won't take much to get you rolling. And if you drink too much you'll soon learn. In any case, Spin The Bottle will culminate in at least one couple getting some good french kissing action.

Postman's Knock

Possibly a uniquely British game, Postman's Knock was a good standard in children's parties because of the simplicity of the rules. A 'postman' calls to one of the girls and asks them for either a kiss, a hug or a punch. Of course, this being Teenage Intergender Sleepovering, the choices are revised upwards - more adventurous games will offer the appealing prospect of french kiss, tit grope or flashing of the pussy. Of course, with the action occurring in a seperate room (typically the hall or lobby), there is apt opportunity for both lying and serious necking.

Truth Or Dare

A worldwide classic. Truth or Dare is great in a large group simply because of the peer group pressure. However, it also leads to some of the most impressive falsehoods ever devised. Canadian girlfriends with loose morals will magic themselves into the world, 21 year old Italian hunks will have suddenly romanced girls on trips to Europe, and three inches can instantly become 8. Truths are nearly always sexual, and there's never been a dare recorded that didn't involve either physical contact or removal of clothing.

Strip (Insert Game Here)

By this time, the assembled throng will be on the edge of their seats. The guys will all be desperatly trying to hide their... *ahem* ...excitement, while the girls will all be wriggling to alleviate the peculiar itching feeling. It's at this point that the proper course of events is that one game be played to strip rules. Strip Poker is the obvious one, but unless somebody present is in the habit of being hustled out of their pocket money every week by an older brother, nobody has a clue how to play. Strip Snap is fine for the mentally-deficient, but Strip Twister is possibly the king of all Strip games. This contest will invariably sort the exhibitionists and the well-developed from the shy and embarrassed, but this can help the process of coupling off. The game will usually end when the more adventurous of both sexes agree that they should all strip at the same time to save personal embarrassment. Once this is achieved, it is customary for one couple to be discovered either taking a shower together or in a state of undress in a darkened room.

The sleepover will then move into the quieter stage whereby a video, of either the erotic or horror genres, will be put on, and newly-formed couples will share sleeping bags, normally with a reduced level of conversation and a vastly-increased level of petting. Once the film has finished and the lights go out... well... just remember that these were exactly the sorts of boys your mom warned you about. The rest is up to you.

As a veteran of the teenage co-ed sleepover, I've got to come out in support of the whole idea. Yes, it invariably leads to at least one person doing something that they regret in the morning, but for the majority, it is a vital (not to say unbelievably enjoyable) part of growing up and learning about yourself, others and that big bad sex thing.