Greetings and salutations, I trust that my missive finds you in excellent health and spirit. I hope that the unfortunate rumors I've heard about that rash are false.
I have oft noted your sagacious dispensation of advice and wonder if you would be so magnanimous as to put your considerable mental acumen to use in my favor. To whit, I have run into a considerable quandary and wonder if you can slice your way through my proverbial Gordian knot.
At this writing, my armies of Giant Robots and Angry Lesbian Powerlifters are poised to a launch an attack on every major capital in the world. Since the world leaders are at this time occupied with the Olympics in Australia or secret liquor binges, my advisors estimate that the world shall be mine in appromixately seventy-hours.
My question, therefore, is this: my conquest of the entire world will be complete by Monday 7:45PM GMT, since this will take place some two weeks after the American Labor Day, would it be entirely inappropriate for me to wear white to my inauguration?
Conquerer in California