Ah, but there are those things that transcend the everyday world of mere sandwiches and sammiches, things that take on an almost mystical profundity when viewed through the eyes of gourmonds the world over. I am speaking, of course, of the po' boy and the muffuletta. I dare not profane these wonderful creations with the name sandwich, for that is far too mundane and sterile a description for these delectably messy delights, and yet sammich seems somehow inadequate and entirely too vulgar to properly convey the wonder of indulging yourself in these.

The muffuletta is a scrumptious meta-sammich consisting of three types of lunch meats, two types of cheese and olive salad on a round loaf of italian bread. Remember the mega-sandwiches Shaggy and Scooby used to create in the haunted mansions? You've got the idea of about how many layers your muffuletta should have. I've never seen anyone eat an entire one of these, most people stick to quarters, a few hungrier souls manage a half; I once saw a nearly insatiable person pull off three quarters, but even he had to stop, and come up for air. You will probably never see a supermodel taking a bite out of a muffuletta.

Then there is the Po' Boy. They come in an astonishing number of varieties; while shrimp and roast beef or both popular, there are also oyster, ham, cheeseburger and fried catfish po' boys. You can eat them dressed (with lettuce or cabbage, mayonnaise, tomato and pickles) or with nuttin' on 'em (although with a roast beef po' boy, gravy will still likely be included, and perhaps a little zatarain's creole mustard). What po' boys have in common is the bread; the best have french bread with a very crunchy crust and a very light center, rather reminiscent of the pain ordinaire or baguettes you might find in france. Eating a po' boy is almost always a messy experience, a dressed roast beef po' boy drips with gravy and mayo mixing together in one sloppy mess. It is not a refined experience like nibbling lightly on an assortment of cheeses while sipping a slightly nutty but mature chateau latour; it is a joyful, sloppy expression of the wonder of food and the richness of life.

Sandwiches are things they make at Subway and Quizno's that will fill a hungry stomach, sammiches are an art, but a good po' boy or muffeletta can be an affirmation of the joy of living.