Ahh yes! The famed McDonalds ... I worked there once, for a period of 7 months and the story I have to tell is of both a dark and sinister nature. One fine morning, waking up extra early so I can make my shift of 7am-3pm on a fresh, crisp sunday morning, I felt a wild desire to remain in bed that day. Little did I know that I should have followed my soul's advice and reached for the "off" button on my alarm clock.

Alas, it was not to be. I woke up, got into my mom's car (I was 17 and could not quite yet afford a car of my very own), and drove the several miles to the McDonalds which I shall now describe. It was yellow with a nice red hat for a roof, it had large glossy windows and was generally in a state of intense upkeep. The drive thrus were well staffed and there was never anything to really complain about at the front counter. Until that fateful day.

I entered my workplace, and everything was as usual. I clocked in, and everything was as usual. I went in the back to restock the ketchup... and thats when things went absolutely haywire. I walked into the stock room to see my manager, yes my MANAGER engaging in oral sex with one of the overweight, aging, disgusting bald men who work in the grill. The poor woman, down on her knees, did not see me and continued with her work. I vomited. I cursed. And then I ran. I ran and I ran and I ran, and I promised to never, ever return to a fast food place again. This memory haunts me forever and I think that by finally letting go of this experience I can once again return to what was once my favorite food in the entire world. A Number-two, no pickels, with a sprite... supersize that please.