I emailed all my friends about the conversation I had with Eun Jung on Saturday
. For those who aren't going to bother to click that hardlink
: basically, she let me know that she's looking to get married in the near future, and that I should keep that in mind if I'm going to be with her.
It was interesting to see the responses I got. Three people told me I was an idiot for even thinking about it, and that I should run away screaming (I got one such message on E2, too). Two people essentially said, "Good for you! She sounds great. Spend a year with her, and see how it works out. If you want to marry her after a year, great!" The rest, including my sister (I haven't let my parents know) seemed somewhat worried, but acknowledged that a year is a long time, that marriage isn't necessarily a bad thing if you know what you're doing, and essentially just told me not to do anything that I wasn't sure about.
Several people's comments raised an interesting point. My two most intellectual friends both asked about her intelligence, but had differing viewpoints in the matter. One still holds the opinion that I once held, several years ago, that intelligence is one of the most important factors in choosing a potential mate. Eun Jung is fairly smart, but I don't think she's brilliant. Based on this, he said, she'd probably bore me. The other friend holds the same viewpoint that I switched to, that being a nice, warm-hearted, caring person is an infinitely more important consideration than intelligence when choosing a potential life partner. Eun Jung definitely excels in that department. My philosophy, similar to that of the second friend, is that I already have some brilliant friends, and if I'm desperately in need of a good, intellectual debate, I can get it from them. As much as I like to argue about philosophy, marrying someone who always wants to do so would probably drive me crazy. I need a calm, loving, peaceful home life, not constant mental stimulation.
So, after my initial day of panic, I've calmed down considerably. I love Eun Jung. She loves me. She's a nice girl. I don't have to decide tomorrow whether or not to spend my life with her. She wants me to make a decision after about a year or so. That's reasonable. It's not so far off from the age at which I'd like to get married, anyway. It's entirely possible that I would make the decision to propose to her after a year anyway. So there's no harm in waiting and seeing how I feel in a year. Actually, I feel pretty good now. And if I do eventually decide to ask her to marry me, it'll be a hell of a lot easier to do, knowing that she's already essentially indicated to me what her answer will be.