Dear Mike Tyson
(a.k.a. The "Tywannical Tywannosaurus"),
I know your crazy, Hannibal Lecter-loving ass was all geared up to feasting on Lewis’ "heart," and you really wanted to "eat his children" for dinner and all, but DAAAAAMN – your double black-eyed, broken-nosed cannibalistic butt
JUST GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!
*A fictional letter.