My Latte Gives me Superpowers

Meet me. Mild mannered Digital Arts student. I'm an art nerd, and before that, I was a band nerd, and before that, I was just a plain all out nerd. I have trouble meeting new people in general. So, when I eye that super cool girl who works at the local Volunteers of America, I think, "I'm gonna ask her out." I walk up to the counter, and all of a sudden my head is filled with exactly 26 reasons I should not ask her out.

I've been doing this for three or four weeks now. I go, I pick up something to buy, walk to the counter, and before I know it, I'm out the door. My heart pounding, and my hands shaking.

I know this chick digs me. It's not a fear of rejection. So today, I decided that this was it. Today was the day I was going to ask her out. I walk past the row of mountain bikes that are lined up next to the door, constantly sitting there like crows on a telephone wire.

I get into the store. There she is, standing at the register, smiling that beautiful smile. I walk past her and smile, same as the week before, and the week before that. Although this week she stops me.

"So what's your name?" I tell her. "What's your name?" I say. She tells me. Of course I already knew. I heard her boss talking to her one day. I stand there for an awkward moment. Silence. I hate silence. "I'm gonna go look at the records." You're such a wuss., I think to myself.

I pick up a cd. Skypark Am I Pretty? I'd been waiting for it to go on sale. I start moving towards the counter. Just ask her if she'd like to go for coffee or something. It doesn't have to be poetic.

I look up and I'm already out the door. I'm such a wuss. Next stop is the latte stand. I'd never had a butterscotch latte before. Apparently I need to more often because it indeed gives me superpowers. I took one sip of that bittersweet symphony and I saw those bubbles that used to pop up on the Batman TV series with Adam West. Wham! Zap! Pow!

Suddenly I had the courage of ten men. I walked back a block again to VOA. I walk past the bikes, in the door, and to the counter. I look up and I'm outside again. How'd that happen? I was so ready to ask her.... Wait. What's in my hand? Cassette tape, cassette tape, cassette tape, cassette tape. I am such a....


When it comes to women, Batman got nothing on me.