HOWTO: procure your own Butterfinger McFlurry if there are none in your area
There's this huge stigma surrounding McDonald's employees, how they're maybe the lowest rung of employee in the entire universe, but I shall briefly illustrate just how much bunk this is; it just isn't true. Further to that, I shall endeavour to entertain you with one specific reason why having a McDonald's employee as a friend is a good thing; indeed, McDonald's employees are, on the whole, a happy lot, and it is not impossible to perform the task which I am about to describe with Joe, your friendly neighbourhood swing manager.*
As for the company itself, and its products, I carry within me very little with regard to a truly thought-out opinion, because I don't engorge myself on their foodstuffs frequently enough to formulate one. On the other hand, my daughter is a McDonald's fanatic, which means I am dragged to their PlayPlace on a semi-regular basis, and have gotten to know the staff at the nearby restaurant somewhat familiarly. I do know about Dairy Queen's Blizzard product, and have been known to enjoy the incredibly sweet product on occasion. Especially Skor--yum yum. Upon seeing the McDonald's mimicry of the product in the commercials on television, I decided at once to avoid them at all costs. Come on: McDonald's copying an already-tasty dessert treat? That's got to be awful.
I banished the thought from my mind until I happened upon the now-infamous writeup(s) above. Upon further investigation I found that, in what I can only assume is the entirety of the Canadian division of the company, McDonald's does not make the Butterfinger McFlurry. There is Oreo, there is strawberry shortcake, there is Smarties. I tried them, but was utterly nonplussed: why not just get a damn Blizzard? Still, there was a part of me itching to try a Butterfinger McFlurry, due to some intangible need, some draw I could not explain. Soft-serve and Butterfingers seemed like a winning combination to me, so I asked the manager of the aforementioned local McDonald's about it, and he hadn't heard a thing. "No," he said, "I don't think we've ever had that flavour." But I had a plan of beautiful simplicity which I intended to put into motion.
There is a fairly well-appointed corner store near my house, run by a Lebanese family. It's essentially a small supermarket, geared more or less directly towards the people who live in that country, the foods they are familiar with. They have just about every chocolate bar in existence there, including the Butterfinger. So the very same day that the restaurant manager told me that there were no Butterfinger McFlurries in my future I bought one, thought about it, and bought two more. Later on (after a real supper) I decided to test out my theory: would they, in fact, make me my McFlurry? So I grind up my Butterfingers--they break apart nicely as it is--and put them in a Baggie. Off I go.
I walk into the McDonald's, which is near-empty, as it's a weekday and in the late evening, just before closing time. I plop my bag of crushed Butterfinger on the counter and wait for the manager. And I ask.
There must've have been sixty seconds of debate between him and one of the other higher-ups. Strange glances over at me, as if I was some strange freak; no doubt I'm the kind who would anthrax their spinny machine thing. After the bland dispute is over, manager comes up and says, simply, "Sure. But it'll cost you the same as a normal one. What size you want?"
So there you go. So ends the HOWTO guide on obtaining your own Butterfinger McFlurry. It's really quite tasty: I wouldn't have written this if it wasn't. The buttery flavour of the candy bar combined with the smoothness of the ice cream is a very nice treat. But don't get the large size: I almost got sick.
* I don't know if it's Canada-wide or what, but I haven't been able to find a Butterfinger McFlurry anywhere up here. This writeup, as a whole, is based mostly on Canadian information, along with small tidbits of information I've gathered from Americans, which often contradict one another. I've heard that the Butterfinger flavour can be found in the South, that it's been discontinued, that it can still be found outside of Boston. Says Don Red as to the indefinite discontinuation: "I smell conspiracy."
(r) Myrkabah says re: Butterfinger McFlurry: I can tell you with absolute certainty that Butterfinger McFlurries are still available in the south. I had one just the other day, in Tennessee. It was terrible. Heh.