Bathroom Reading is a beautiful thing, and should not be frowned upon. It is simply satifying the human nature of not being bored. Bathroom Reading is something we do when we're on the John, and don't have a Game Boy.

For years, non Bathroom Readers have wondered why we read while doing our business. The toilet was meant for dicks, not Dickens. Besides, who would want to touch a book that was in the pee pee room?

The answer is, frankly, that when you're doing the poopie dance, you get tired of waiting, and read a newspaper, a magazine, or a good book. Most bathroom readers are prepared for such a situation, and bring fresh reading material.

There are certain times when you know you are going to be in there for a long time, and bring reading material accordingly. No one can win over constipation in a staring contest.

So there's your answer, non bathroom readers. We're just bored. Really really bored. The next time you bring a book in the B-room, be proud! Say out loud, "I am a bathroom reader, and I am PROUD OF IT!"

Until you get a Game Boy...