Today, November 6, 2001 will be a day that shall go down in history(mine) that is.
I wake up as usual and of there are three things I think of right off the bat.
First of all, she means so much to me its not even funny, not that infatuation is usually funny except maybe in those wacky sitcoms on TV. "See you in my dreams", she said last night. Amazing, just amazing. Moreso is the fact that she is even my friend, the first person of the opposite sex that I have ever been true friends with, I have a feeling this will eventually end in pain...I don't like to think that even for a moment.. but it probably will end that way, and it makes me so sad to even think about her moving out of town, dying, or just not caring about me anymore. That wont ever happen I keep telling myself, it's impossible, just impossible. I compliment her whenever I get the chance, I cherish her, I treat her like a queen, a goddess, yet I am still insecure of how she feels. I only find a shred of re-assurance in the fact that we will ALWAYS be friends, maybe I should feel more than that at this stage...but I don't. I cant blow this chance, I know I will always care for her no matter what she does, that leaves me so confused...
It's November 6th, and its already really cold. I guess it was my own fault I didnt bring a jacket. Maybe winter will soon be upon me, than I can go skiing.
The people at my school seem to think its OK, and almost required for them to be total jerks. It's either that or I am just so god damn nice that its not for my own good. Then again, if you know me, and aren't her you know I'm not nice to strangers. Bah, so people stand in the halls and get in the way, but they are all transparent..only one thing is on my mind.
her.....sad isnt it? I dont think so.