user since
Wed May 9 2001 at 03:04:24 (16.4 years ago )
last seen
Sat Dec 17 2005 at 10:29:36 (11.8 years ago )
level / experience
0 (Initiate) / -20
mission drive within everything
To contribute something useful someday
Self deprecation
Southwestern College (Chula Vista, California)
Look both ways before clicking submit
Send private message to Desbaine

I don't really know what to write here. At this time, E2 is still a bewildering mass of vast and sundry information. I'd really like to contribute something, but I don't really know that much. Um. What are the chances that someone is going to stumble onto this home node at random?

I'm fresh into college. I'm 19. I'm quite an emotional wreck. I must be one of the most neurotic, insecure users on E2. I have no concept of self-worth; I just try to avoid putting too much more crap in the world than there already is.

My main reason for being here is to find information on obscure subjects from a variety of sources. I don't do much with it, just absorb it (or puzzle over it if it is too complex). It's kinda like a black hole.

My hobbies include moaning about life, feeling sorry for myself, and staring dismally at displays of vast superiority. I can do a little with ASP. I know BASIC syntax. I can use Visual Basic to produce slow, crunky applications. I've tried using Visual C++, but I work on Windows and didn't like or understand MFC, and don't know how to do without it yet. I'm trying to learn more about assembly language and how multitasking works.

At times, none of it seems worthwhile. I produce substandard work and can't comprehend the more complex concepts required to make useful applications.

I've had a taste for math from time to time, but it's really just a joke. I haven't gotten beyond first-year college calculus. The last problem that I stopped trying to solve was the summation of x^2 from 1 to y. I was able to do x from 1 to y by visualizing a quantized triangle, but x^2 has me stumped.

I also want to be an artist, but an inherent lack of creativity and a homogenous drawing style prevent that from happening. It's a lot of unrequited love.

Currently, for every individual I am exposed to, I find ways in which they are superior.