s are deadly
days at Canadian Blood Services
, my place of employment
Two weeks ago today, a fellow employee
of mine found out during her shift that her brother
, 41, had died of a sudden heart attack
. She let out multiple blood-curdling
screams as she was led out of the main office
area. I could only watch from my cubicle in awe
of someone who had honestly had her heart
The same thing happened tonight
, sort of.
I was working out in the main office area, doing some half-training
with some of the older ladies that do the telerecruitment
for blood donation
s. Suddenly I hear a slight "thump
" behind me, and there is a body on the floor
Rushing over, I hear her mumble
: "I thought it was my father, it's my husband, it's my husband." Turns out the poor woman's husband had a severe stroke
, and is in the hospital. Cue screaming, cue exit, cue uneasy quiet afterwards.
I've always thought I've been good with death
. It's inevitable. I don't tend to mourn
. But these small brushes with death are starting to unsettle me. Not that I'm getting afraid of death, but something else.
I try to put myself in their situation
, try and feel what they must
be feeling at a moment like that. I picture my loved ones, dying... dead... but nothing comes. I feel empathy
, I'm sure it hurt
s, but I just can't imagine what
it feels like. I've had people die on me before, once infront of my own eyes, but I have never react
ed that strongly.
I worry that I've grown too hard
- her husband died a few short minutes ago. People are going home for the night early, as if it was their family member that died. I'm still here, as there is work to be done
. Does that make me cold