It can’t possibly be as easy as living clean, not eating meat, smoking or doing drugs, and being reasonably sane. But maybe it is.

“I’m Lia,” she tells him. “You really don’t eat animals?

He shakes his head, trying not to look too holier-than-thou, holding the bottle of orange juice tightly. Marvin has discreetly disappeared, leaving him alone at the bar with this unbelievable girl.

I don’t either.” She stands so close to him that her breasts are brushing his chest, and smells his breath. Thank God for padded bras, he thinks giddily. He might have burst if he had felt a nipple. It’s been a long time. He’s sweating buckets, but her hands are as cool as a statue’s.

She smiles. “Let’s get out of here. Come home with me.

It can’t be this easy. Can it? Hell, maybe it can. This is New York, right? Wild things happen here. And people do tend to go to clubs hoping for sex. Except for sad cases like him, who go because their cooler friends drag them along, and spend the entire night wishing they could be at home, out of this noise, out of this reeking, roiling air.

Maybe geeks are cool again, he thinks. Maybe somebody changed the rules to let an average-looking guy get a shot.

It can’t be that easy, but he follows her back to the ratty walkup which is very, very not clean living. Ten minutes later his cock is in her surprisingly cool mouth. It’s been years since he felt anything like that. He closes his eyes ecstatically, listening to her slither out of her clothes while she sucks him, and it’s paradise until the teeth lock down on him like little needles. His eyes pop open and he grunts, looking down at her.

The slithering noise wasn’t her clothes. It was her skin.

She’s watching him with an eye of reptilian yellow. Her body, her cool, firm, nipple-free body, is now a fifteen feet long tube of scale-covered muscle coiling around him, squeezing the air out of his chest in another series of animal grunts. There will be no screaming.

A rib cracks painfully, and her tail twitches in front of his face. It’s the last thing he sees.

He was right the first time. It’s not that easy to get laid in New York.

Because it is the season...