1. What is your name?


2. Tell us something about you, your background, and what you've been up to lately?

As far as my background goes I grew up in the rural outskirts of St. Louis, Missouri. Raised in the country by people who were raised in the city. Oh I was adopted, by the way. A bit of Jeremy trivia there. That might come in handy when I'm famous someday and you find yourself on Jeopardy. I was not given up, I was taken away from evil people when I was a baby. Anyway, I grew up a creative person, mostly drawing or other fine arts but I also loved to write stories. I hated growing up where I did a lot of times. I don't like going back there. I'm not a big fan of hicks, mullets, wife-beater shirts, NASCAR, the Bible, and monster trucks. Especially now that they've all gone tea-tard bonkers. Really the only thing I miss is that sky full of stars. It's breathtaking to me when I go back down there and realize just how many god damn stars there are to see in the sky when you're not standing in civilization. I don't exactly live in the Big City now, but it's a nice compromise between Bibleland and downtown. Anyway I got a Bachelor of Fine Arts from the University of Missouri - St. Louis in 1999 and I've been working in the web design and development business ever since. That's also the year I got married. I got four awesome sons out of that marriage - one in 2004, two in 2008, and one in 2010. That is the shortest bio I can belt out.

What I've been up now to is getting a divorce from my evil soon-to-be ex-wife. Two years ago I think she lost her soul and turned evil like Angel/Angelus (I'm a big Buffy/Angel fan). Anyway, after going through a living, waking nightmare from August of 2012 to the end of 2013 that literally almost claimed my life, I am now climbing out of the dark pit I was tossed into like Bruce Wayne in the Dark Knight Rises (with the only difference being that I'm slightly sexier than Christian Bale). I have my own place, living in bachelor paradise, having a great time with my kids and trying to undo the damage their mother does to them, having some exciting times at work with some very important projects (that are kind of a Big Deal, like Ron Burgundy) and I've dated some pretty awesome chicks lately. I've settled on a really beautiful, funny, great girl, and I'm very much hoping it lasts and goes somewhere. I'm also working on a comedy novel based on a few write-ups I did as my E2 alter ego and I am hoping to finish that sometime soon and shop it around. Other than all that, I'm trying to create a robot, but it keeps spitting out bizarre insults and stinky green stuff.

3. How did you discover Everything, and how did you become a noder? 

User swankivy turned me onto Everything2 way back in the fall of 2003. That's pretty much it how I discovered it. I became a noder by creating the account. I guess. Isn't that how we all did it?

4. What are your favorite writeups -- both your own and from other noders?

As far as my own write-ups it's really a toss-up between 9/11 Conspiracy Theories and I hate this god damn robot. They really represent opposite ends of the spectrum of my work here. One debunks the crazy, and the other... well... is crazy. I mean, I never put so much research, work, and care into a writeup as I did with 9/11 Conspiracy Theories. On the other hand, the robot one was pure brilliant madness. It, like a lot of my whacky write-ups, got nearly equal hate and love. 

Writeups from others? That's tough. There's so freaking many. I'm really not up to the task of combing through countless write-ups vaguely remembered. A few stand out in my memory. Not sure if that means they're my favorites. One is Run like you are six. Maybe it stands out because it was written by a beautiful, kind, awesome noder who is sadly no longer with us. I miss Christine as do many, many others. We should all run like we're six, shouldn't we? The lesson there is you should do it... and do it while you still can. You only live once. It's a cliché that sometimes becomes very sobering and slaps you in the face to remind you that, yes, it really does actually mean something profound and important. In all likelihood this really is the only life you get, dubious metaphysics aside. So fucking live it. I wanted to off myself in January of 2013. I had a plan. Most of you don't know it got to that point. Well, now you do. But it's stupid, isn't it? Look how hard Christine fought to keep her life. And dannye. And I was just going to give mine up. So now, in a way, I'm running like I'm six. I spread my arms, took off from the ground, and soared.

Another writeup I adored was You noders still fucking suck, but your needing my wisdoms bad. ONLY IT'S NOT HERE ANY MORE GOD DAMN IT.

5. What are your favorite and least favorite memories from E2's history?

My favorite memory was in 2007 when I won the E2 redesign contest. I won the popular vote. My least favorite memory was when, despite that, somebody else was chosen as the victor. Yep. I'm the Al Gore of Everything2.

6. What keeps you coming back (or not coming back, as the case may be)? 

What keeps me coming back is the open bar.

No, really, it's the memories, the people, the great work being done here. I don't have a lot of time to write here much anymore. I'll never be "fled," though. I see no reason to just say "Well, I'm done, I quit." That always seemed so silly to me. I pop back in here and there when I can. But back to the people. I would not be alive today if it weren't for a few users. First of all, swankivy was one of several people who helped keep me afloat during my time of crisis last year. She showed me so much love and support over so many months and I owe her the deepest gratitude for that. But it was karma debt and LaggedyAnne who yanked me out of the river. I owe those two awesome ladies so very much. They came in like gangbusters and snapped me right the fuck out of it in just a matter of days, said the exact right things, and did what others couldn't do in months. And wholly apart from my crisis, two of my very favorite users are Jet-Poop and Junkill. They're just as twisted as I am! They're my bromances! Um, totally, um, non-gay bromances.

7. What do you hope for E2's future? 

I really hope that someday Everything2: The Movie comes to theaters and that we can get a necromancer to resurrect Don Lafontaine to do the voice-overs for the trailers. That would be Fucking. Awesome. "IN A WORLD... WHERE PEOPLE WRITE ON A WEBSITE...."

8. What does E2 mean to you? 

Well, it's an acronym. E for "Everything" and 2 for "2." I mean, like, DUHHHH.

9. Who are your favorite noders? Which ones do you miss the most?

I already kinda answered this question with numbers 6 and 4. I also really liked and miss ToasterLeavings and donfreenut. They're freaking geniuses. avalyn is my e2 hockey budd. I forgive him for being a Detroit Red Wings fan.

10. Who would play you in the Everything2 movie?

Hmmmm. Ricky Gervais. Or possibly Dakota Fanning. Hard to decide between those two.

11. Please fill in the blank: "E2 is to the Internet as ___ is to the world."

E2 is to the Internet as peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are to the world.

12. Any questions that I didn't ask that I should've?

"Would you like some hot wings?" YES. YES I WOULD, THANK YOU!

Everything2 Decaversary Interviews

If you have questions or comments, please contact artman2003 or Jet-Poop.