I hardly ever write anymore. For a period of time I was here everyday, all day, writing constantly. And when I was writing I thought, man this stuff sucks! Debbie, you can't write to save your life. Funny cos I used to think the same thing about my flute playing. And I used to think, man I am so fat I can't stand it, I cannot believe how fat I am! But every once in awhile I find an old tape I made of me playing the flute and I suddenly realize that I was really good. Was being the key word here, cos I don't play any more and I really miss it. And I log on and take a look at some of my old nodes and I read them and think, wow? I never had any idea that my thoughts and feelings came out so clearly and were so interesting! Again the past tense in that sentence being key, cos lately I can't seem to write anything. I'm just not feeling it, ya know? And wouldn't you know it, this morning I groaned as I thought to myself, man I wish I had appreciated the weight that I had been at just two months ago, I wasn't nearly as fat as I am now, I'd give just about anything to be down their on the scales! So you'd think that I would learn that you should appreciate what you have now but instead I think all I've learned is that life just sucks more as you get older!