I would like to take this opportunity to inform you that I, Debbie
, am in love
. With the day logs. I know, it doesn't sound that impressive, but I will make my case.
The day logs do not judge. The day logs understand. With exception to the occasional boogerhead
, no one votes you down for your wacky, irrational, insecure thoughts. In fact, the more real and intrinsic
the idea, the more interesting it is to read. I am so in love with the comfort of day logs that I have composed a little song:
When I'm feeling blue
All I have to do
Is write a node to you
Then I'm not so blue...
We've got a groovy kind of love
Ok, maybe I didn't really write that song, but I meant it.
Today was a bit of a strange day. Yesterday I noded about enjoying every moment of the day. I have been missing the joy of waking up in the morning, missing the energy to make it through the day, missing my natural (annoyingly) sunny disposition
. I woke up this morning at nine o'clock and considered going back to sleep but I remembered my promise to myself and actually got out of bed. I had a whole list of things I wanted to get done today. I didn't get most of them done, but I did get out of bed at nine in the morning! For a college student, who doesn't work until 6PM, that is quite an accomplishment. I have to admit that the reason that I got out of bed this morning is because I was excited about my Nsync
web page project. I recently got in touch with one of the concert promoters and asked him for some info about setting up a fan based web site. I am trying to talk my way into getting an interview with the band. I doubt it will ever happen but the whole process is really exciting. Everyday is a challenge
since I started this project. How far can I get today? What new information can I get? Who can I talk to today?
I am a people person
. I cringe at that term, most people I have heard say that really annoy the bejesus
out of me. But I am a people person. I love interacting with people, I love to listen to people talk. I always find someone interesting to talk to. When I was staying at the hotel in Buffalo and Nsync was on the same floor as I was I ended talking to one of the hotel employees for almost an hour. He told me all about his children and his grandchildren. My friends tell me that I could make a killing if I went into sales. But I can't do that. I just can't be pushy.
So I think it's a bit weird that it took a project like this to break me out of my funk. But it has worked. I wake up every morning with a specific goal in mind. I have actually been going to sleep at a decent hour so that I can wake up refreshed, ready to take on the day. I was considering giving up this project until I started watching MTV last night and I caught an Alanis Morissette MTV Unplugged
concert and she sang You Learn. The line that really stuck with me was, I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone, I certainly certainly certainly do. And I thought, fuck it, I am going to throw myself into this thing and take what comes to me as it comes. I am going to dive right in there! I am NOT going to pull a Debbie!!
For those of you who aren't familiar with the term 'pulling a Debbie
' it's something that I do quite often. I only half-heartedly participate in something that I really care about, pretending that I don't care about it, so that when I fail I can comfort myself with the thoughts that I didn't really want it anyway, and besides, I didn't try all that hard. I know, it's also called setting yourself up for failure
but it's just so much more appropriately nicknamed 'pulling a Debbie'. I don't even know why I do this? What's the point in even bothering if I am just going to shoot myself down before I take off? I don't know but this is a new beginning. Combining yesterday's theme with today's:
I will enjoy every moment of my day, and I will do it by living, and living is putting all you got into everything you do. They might take our land but they cannot take our freedom!!
: I hereby bestow on you 1% of my sunny disposition. I would have given you the whole 10% but this stuff is pretty powerful:) You have to ease your way into it! But seriously, know that Unisys was not the right thing for you. Otherwise you would have gotten it. The right thing will come, you just have to wait a little bit. And the harder the wait the more you can appreciate what you've got. It sounds so unbelievably hokey, but trust in yourself and know that it will all work out. Eventually. I'll check in with you and see how you handled the one percent and maybe I'll give you two tommorrow:)