August 9, 2000 (idea)

Oh I wish that I had something better to write about then the hot guy sitting next to me in lab. For instance, the hot guy sitting next to me in the lab just asked me out! Or the hot guy sitting next to me in the lab just threw me down on the ground and made wild passionate love to me until the air conditioning in the room blew! I just started laughing out loud and the hot guy was looking at me like, wha??? If only he knew. Thanks goodness there is extra space in between this computer and the next, otherwise he might be able to read this. Although I am sitting right behind (in front of?) the printer. I may have to end this node at any moment! Wow, he's really nice looking and he smiled at me when I excused myself for laughing. Why is that he just came and sat down next to me now? I have to leave soon. Oh well...

I was thinking that maybe I should start a new log. We have the dream log and the day log but we don't have a hot guy sitting in the lab log. What's up with that? I think I have a good suggestion for an E2 improvement!

Yeah baby, Yeah!!!

But that does bring me to something that I have wanted to talk to someone about lately. Lucky you guys, huh? Seriously, I have found myself in a rather horny mood lately, checking out guys left and right, and then left again...and right again... But when it comes down to it, I don't really want to have someone here. I like the idea of having someone but at the same time I am really really enjoying not having someone. But this indeciciveness is a problem. For instance, that guy that looked like Justin Timberlake, from Nsync. He was all into having a good time with me and I thought I was until it started happening and then I was like, well, no thanks. It's not that I didn't enjoy the kissing but I just didn't want anything else. Although, maybe if the hot guy sitting next to me asked...? Hmm... Well he won't ask so I don't really need to think about that anymore. *sigh* Maybe it's not that I enjoy being alone, but maybe I just feel like I am destined to be alone and I have just come to accept it and even embrace it in an odd sort of way?

My friend Cindy emailed me the other day. She is trying to have children and she is worried that she won't be able to have any. She has been on a fertility medication for quite some time now and she is getting scared. She told me that she didn't think she could talk to any of her friends cos they wouldn't understand. Most of her friends aren't married and don't even think about having children. Well I can totally understand where she is coming from. Because I worry that I won't ever meet anyone, that I will lose my chance also. It's a scary thought and I hate it. But I can't help but think about it. I know that I am only 25 but still, it just seems so hopeless sometimes. I don't mean to get all poopy about this though, but it is MY day log and I'll cry if I want to!!

I suppose I really should leave this on a good note though. Hmmm....

Good note