We went to Friendly's
just to hang out. I remember the first time we ever hung out together, we must have drank at least a pot of coffee
each, but what else is there to do in this small town at midnight
? I stared at his lips
the whole time and I didn't know what the big attraction was. I still don't.
He's dating someone I don't really like. She's too immature
and she's just not right for him. But I'm not either. But I really want to kiss
him. I haven't wanted to kiss someone so badly since I met Marty. That's really scary.
We went to the lab, cos we're geeks
like that. He showed me his webpage, I wish I could remember what the name of the computer chip
is that he is so in love with but
damn there is something extremely sexy about an intelligent man!
He is really in robotics
and he showed me the webpage for his robotics club. God I was getting so hot sitting next to him, listening to him talk. I made him explain everything to me while I soaked in every word. I leaned in closer so I could hear him
. I could have listened to him talk for hours but finally he ran out of things to say.
We got in the elevator
and I told him how much I loved to hear him talk about his robots, I told him it had made me really hot. He laughed, he thought I was kidding. I asked him if he would show me his robots sometime. He thought I was picking on him.
We got in the car and headed for home. I confessed to him that I wasn't kidding, I love intelligent men. I told him how badly I wanted to kiss him. When I asked he told me that I wasn't making him uncomfortable. I couldn't believe I was telling him all of this. But it felt so good to be so open and so honest with him and it was making me want him even more. I felt so free, so unhibited, thank God he has a girlfriend
, otherwise I really would have gotten myself in trouble.
He told me that he had been interested in me that first night we went out but for some reason we never hung out again. I asked him why and he said it was my fault. No reason why, it was just my fault. He was joking, but he was right. He scares me. I don't like feeling so free, I don't like wanting someone so much, I don't like letting go of myself so easily. It should take longer. Besides, you can't give everything right away, you have to save something for later.
I have been thinking that I want someone in my life again. But I am way too scared
to actually let someone in. And if I kissed him then what? He's not right for me, he's just damn sexy intelligent. God I love that.
He dropped me off in the Friendly's parking lot. I had left my car there. I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and said goodbye.