Last night was a crazy night. No, it didn't involve waking up in someone else's bed, alien invaders, flying pigs or celebrities of any sort. In fact, like all nights, it started out normal enough. With my parents out of town, I decided to call up some buddies and see if they wouldn't mind coming over and downing a few brewskies and exchanging conversation. However, only one buddy was around and so stoned he couldn't drive, so only one buddy showed up. He brought his new girl on by. She seems like she lost a lot of weight because the skin just under her shoulders, on her upper arm, seemed kind of loose and flappy. Enough about the girl though...
By the time they showed up at 10:00pm I was already well into my fifth beer, and enjoying quite a buzz. While I remained hopeful that more buddies would show, we watched the Red Sox game. The game wasn't bad, anytime you come back and win it's great, especially in the 9th and 10th innings, but when I was watching we were losing. As I got up to go grab another beer for myself, something flew by me, through the kitchen and into the hall. Jill screamed.
The three of us had no idea what the hell it was, as it swooped by us so fast. I'm sure it came from the solarium next to the living room, but I have no idea how it got in there. It was either a bird or a bat.
By the time we had this figured out, it circled around again. This time through the dining room, into the kitchen and then upstairs. My buddy and I leapt into action as Jill took a seat on the floor, under a blanket. She doesn't like bats too much.
I went upstairs after the bat, and told my buddy to wait at the bottom of the steps in case it came down. I cautiously crawled to my room, a drunken crocodile hunter. I quickly scoped out my room and then grabbed two blankets. I closed the door and walked to the stairs again, tossing down a blanket when I got there. My parent's room, then my brother's were checked. I checked the bathroom, closing every door I came to in order to cut off its escape. Flicking on the lightswitch in the study I didn't see anything, so I flicked it off and started to close the door, thoroughly confused about the location of said animal.
It was then, drunk, confused and with my back to the recently checked study, that the bat flew an inch over my head. I yelped in surprise and readied my arms. With no where to go the bat turned towards me, and I launched the blanket into the air. The bat was nowhere to be seen. "I got it!" I hollered, my speech only hinting at a slight slur.
"It's loose!" My buddy yelled from down the stairs. It must have crawled out when I started to look under the blanket for it. I told him to fan out, to head through the kitchen and rustle the animal towards me. 2 of us, only one bat, we could surround it. I held my blanket wide, ready to launch it at a moments notice. And that's when I saw the bat again. It flew into the living room and started flying around in circles. My buddy blocked off one door, and I the other. When it came close to me, I launched the blanket again.
While the blanket is not the most effective hunting tool in the world, it worked fine here. On the ground again, we saw no movement from the bat, but knew it was under the blanket somewhere. We started to spread the blanket out, and groping it, to see if the bat could be found. Bats are not large creatures like they make out in the movies. This one was only 4 inches long, and 2 wide, maybe. He lifted up the blanket and saw the bat huddling in its wings. Once we located the bat, I grabbed the bat, surrounded in the blanket.
I could only imagine the trauma inflicted on this poor animal. It's echolocation must have been going berserk, as it was wrapped in a blanket, being clutched by me. I could feel the animal shivering, vibrating, with fear? I wasn't sure. I made my way to the solarium, scaring Jill along the way, as any boy would do to a girl with anything remotely icky in his hands. I walked to the door and threw the bat out into the night. It took off like nothing had ever happened, and hopefully ate a lot of mosquitos.