My roommate and I had a party last night. With a few small wrinkles, thing went really damn well. Everybody who came said they had a good time, and we're already planning the next time.

I hadn't considered some things when inviting people, though. It was rather odd to realize that I was in a room with four of my exes at the same time. And while I might move in a very wide variety of social circles, they don't always mix well.

I invited a guy I've been interested in for quite a while. He claimed, at least, that the interest was mutual. But last night he spent all of his time focusing on other people. Ah well.

My ex, whom I've talked about before came to the party. As always, it was nice to see him. I just wish I could make up my mind. Sometimes I'm ok with the fact that we're not together any more, and sometimes, especially when we're alone together, I miss him more than ever. Help?

A few issues in my life are coming to a head. I'm up for an important promotion at work, and I find out tomorrow. For me, this will settle wether or not Voyager is worth staying with. The tech support department has turned into a scheming, back-stabbing, kiss-ass hellhole, and so far I've been willing to wait it out. I don't know how much longer I can take it, though.

Gay men have a rather deserved reputation for being shallow body Nazis. Even the "good guys", such as bears and chub chasers, tend to be just as shallow, they just have different yardsticks and requirements.

I've never been entirely comfortable in "gay culture", which seems to be on the same level as bacteria sometimes. For most gay men I'm "too fat", and I'm "too skinny" for a lot of chub chasers. I'm stuck in the middle. So, I'm at the crux of a choice. Do I:

  • A. Accept my body as it is, and expect others to do the same, or:

  • B. Start working out, lose some weight, and be more realistic, and perhaps acknowledge the inevitable?

I'll probably be noding more about this stuff as events warrant.

Safe dreams, everybody and Everything.