This is one of those times when I wish I could make direct injections of serotonin
into my bloodstream. Depression
saps all the color
from my life, my will to live
, the taste
from my food. It's not something I can explain
. It's just... there.
When I feel like this, I get angry for not being able to fix my life more quickly. That anger is something I can't express, so I get frustrated. That frustration just deepens the anger and depression, which makes me more frustrated... An emotional negative-feedback loop that, if I let it, would carry me farther and farther down until I drowned in my own mind.
Late at night, when it's just me and my computer, and silicon voices trying to offer comfort, it seems like things will never be better, and that I'm going to suffer for the rest of my days. Dawn seems so far away...